This month our church Legacy is holding a class on Sunday mornings at 9 during our first service for Marriage Enrichment. Marriage Counselor Lauren Early and her husband Aaron are leading the group. Since I love this subject, I thought I would attend, although my husband is preaching in the auditorium, there are always things to learn when it comes to marriage even after 34 years. Here below is the handout and my notes on the subject.
Marriage is a covenant – a promise to care for and keep – exchange of persons as opposed to a contract which is an exchange of promises. A contractual relationship benefits self but a covenant relationship benefits the other at great cost to self. I love this statement! When you see marriage as a covenant and not a contract, you are married to one another for one another and you are not looking for a way out.
God needs to be the center of that before covenant can take place and the longer we stay in marriage covenant, the more God’s grace comes alive. Marriage is likened to the relationship between Jesus and the church. You can only become one in a marriage through Christ. When you hurt, he hurts. His goals become my goals and united in vision where we see ourselves for the years to come.
We look to Christ together, submitting one to another. Submission is not domineering but giving ourselves one to another and the husband must give just as the wife. Submission is not where the wife believes her opinion doesn’t count or matter.
Love is the greatest commandment and therefore a choice and matter of obedience. It is an action. People leave marriages because of feelings – “fell out of love”. We don’t base our covenant on feelings of love but choosing to love, because it is the supernatural love comes from God. Love is a choice even with the unloveable spouse. Marriage requires submission which is yielding to another’s will by choice. Submission requires leadership which is a responsibility more than it is a privilege. Christ is the ultimate server.
“The more encouragement we give our spouse, the more full potential they will become. Figure out what submission looks like for your marriage. It is not comparing yourself to other wives as a helpmate but what you need to be.” stated Lauren.
“Submission is not a servant but from a husband’s point of view is not domineering either, but more about listening to her viewpoint, weighing and taking account what her needs are. It is not a feeling. It must benefit for her as to reference to Christ as a responsibility at the end of the day to make those decisions for the whole family.” stated Aaron.
Lauren also said the power to honor her husband is the type of supernatural power to honor above all other relationships, and we answer to God for how we love and submit to our spouse.
This nugget was my aha moment….(and I hope I state it the way she did) If we want to know how we are treating our spouse, check ourselves by looking in the mirror because the reflection should be how we are really treating ourselves as well as having their best interest in mind. In order to meed the needs of our spouse, it is sacrifice as well as a willingness to go out of our own comfort zone. Even when we disagree it is not an attack on “who” you are but just a passionate opinion. The more transparent you become the more we can update ourselves on our partners world.
Can’t wait till next Sunday for the next class! Until next week, hope you gained some insight about the class through the worksheet as well as my notes. Below is Scripture Reference!
Malachi 2:14, Ephesians 5:32, Galatians 3:28, I Corinthians 12:13 13:4-7, Genesis 2:24, Matthew 22:26-40, I John 4:8 &19, Luke 22:26