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What’s Love Got To Do With It

Valentine's Day Flowers is a great way to show you love someone

Last night I got the opportunity to speak at our church about the facets of Love.  Since Valentines day is tomorrow and everyone seems giddy about the event planning on flowers, chocolates and cards, I decided to teach about Love.  Here are my sermon notes and in a few days, I will upload the sermon link so you may also hear the message.

I John 4:16 –

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world. Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.  We love each other because he loved us first. If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their Christian brothers and sisters.

This type of love that comes from God :

Daily Live in Love

There is love that is perfect love

Pursue it

Is forever love

Is Greatest love

Brings unity

Brings peace

Shows kindness

We have to receive it and put it on – abide in it

Sacrifices for sake of others

Love is a choice….

Greeks had terms of love:

  • Storge – affection that parents have with their children, (putting up with family members) Storge Lovers: life long friends
  • Philia – mental love of give and take – loyalty to others – general shoulder to shoulder friendship, Philia Lover: Philos love is a mutual, “give-and take” relationship,
  • Eros – Physical love – passionate love with sensual desire – love at first site – looks. It is based more on “self-benefit”.  Pure emotion without the balance of logic:

Erotic lover wants to know everything about the beloved from the first moment of their RELATIONSHIP, all of his or her experiences, joys and sorrows, who else he or she has loved in the past, how much and in what ways.  like to wear matching T-shirts, identical bracelets, matching colors, order the same foods when dining out, find out that their blood types are the same; they typically want to be identified with each other as totally as possible. Breakups are explosive and painful. Eros love can only succeed in the long-term if it progresses into a higher form of love. Otherwise, it will not last.

  • Agape – spiritual love – true unconditional love, expecting nothing in return –  no self benefit: Agape Lover: forgiving – “not a fall in love desire” but this love is always available for the opportunity to show that love.  They are patient, have the ability to wait indefinitely for the behavior of their love to change.

Other types of LOVERS:

  • MANIA (Possessiveness and Intense Dependency) (Eros and Game player )Mania is an obsessive love that, intimate  and intense, often includes jealousy, possessiveness and a lack of communication. Maniacal love can lead to domestic violence.   The constructed ideal of this type of lover is obsessed to where they are unable to sleep, eat, or even think logically around the loved one. The manic lover has peaks of excitement, but also depths of depression, with very few periods without a high or low, jealous – irrational.

A manic lover cannot tolerate loss of contact , even for short periods of time, and is distressed by a lack of the lover’s presence .

* crushed by real or fancied rejection, possibly to the point of suicidal ideation.

* manipulate the behaviors or feelings of the loved one,

* do not tolerate separation at all well.

The manic lover has a tendency to review past relationships and speculate about what when wrong – high level or anxiety,  have problems related to anxiety and associated with low self-esteem and a poor self concept.

  • Pragma (logical – sensible) a person who is unable to invest love in “unworthy” love objects. (You DESERVE ME) The pragmatic lover is keenly aware of the comparison level for alternatives that he or she has. Pragmatic lovers are inclined to look for a “deal – good bargin” A pragmatic lover typically assists the loved one to fulfill his or her potentials; for example, such a lover might make sure the love object finishes school, asks for deserved promotions, gets the attention or that he or she “deserves” from physicians, stockbrokers, or employers. And everything is planned – family
  • Ludus (game player) A ludic lover hates dependency, either in himself/herself or in others. This type shies away from commitment of any sort (does not like lovers to take him or her for granted). The ludic lover enjoys strategies, and may keep two or three or even four lovers “on the string” at one time. A ludic lover may even create a fictional lover to discourage a real one’s hopes for a permanent relationship. He or she avoids long-range plans. Self-centered and won’t listen

The Types of Love are explained.  The Agape is the highest form of love however culture continues to seek self gratification instead of selflessness.

1973 book The Colors of Love, John Lee compared styles of love to the color wheel.

Three primary styles:


1. Eros – Loving an ideal person

2. Ludos – Love as a game

3. Storge – Love as friendship

Three secondary styles:


1. Mania (Eros + Ludos) – Obsessive love

2. Pragma (Ludos + Storge) – Realistic and practical love

3. Agape (Eros + Storge) – Selfless love

The human brain supports falling in love, which is why we have such a strong physiological response when we are attracted to another.

Most people want love but believe self gratification is in there too.

  • make me ‘feel good’
  • Love  MUST nourish it. : feed it, to take care of it, to value it.

 True love is not about what you feel, it is about what you do.

*Euphoria Stage.  Emotion and feeling based but can be a long term with different value if love grows.

The more time you spend with a person the more you learn about their character and personality. The real test of love is being able to love someone when you know their flaws and short comings.

The ultimate goal is to love in Reality with some euphoric feelings and avoid the stage of ‘Offense’.

*Offense stage comes swiftly after the Reality stage because the relationship was built based on the feelings felt in Euphoria as opposed to a solid friendship.

The Offense stage is different from having hard times in a relationship.

The Offense stage: constant conflict and tension because of false expectations.

*Reality stage it’s not about how you feel, it’s about a choice.  The real test of love is being able to love someone when you know their flaws and short comings.

The ultimate goal is to love in Reality with some euphoric feelings and avoid the stage of ‘Offense’.

Humans have evolved three different brain systems to encourage mating: sex drive (lust), feelings of attachment (trust), and romance (being in love). Each of these systems plays a role in desire.

Lust. Sex drive is associated with a class of hormones called testosterone (even women have it) Playing competitive sports have been shown to trigger testosterone production; in fact, women get a bigger boost than men during a competition. Making love can also create the same effect. Studies have shown that sex raises testosterone levels, so the more sex you have, the more sex you desire.

touching someone brings more feelings of love because it releases a chemical in your brain to promote love

Trust. Feelings of trust and attachment are fostered by the chemical oxytocin. You can stimulate oxytocin naturally with touch. Hold hands while you watch TV, trade massages, or sleep in each other’s arms. Oxytocin, the love/hate hormone
.  Human and animal studies have shown that oxytocin plays a role in bonding;

While affecting positive behaviors of trust and bonding, it can also affect opposite behaviors like jealousy, envy, and suspicion. when the association is negative, the hormone increases negative sentiments”.

Love. The third chemical that drives relationships is dopamine, a key player in the brain’s reward regions that’s been found to promote romantic love. Research shows that —taking risks or trying something new—can trigger the release of dopamine in the brain.

 SONGS: MRI and PET scans reveal that when you listen to music that excites you, your brain releases dopamine during the most exciting moments of the song and even in anticipation of those moments.

Some things a person does can produce so much dopamine that over time, the dopamine response lessens, which means you can lose the ability to feel any kind of pleasure at all. The usual culprits of this dopamine dulling effect are things like cocaine and heroin, which is good news for the great majority of us who are not addicted to illicit substances. The bad news is that if you’re addicted to fatty foods, the same thing could potentially happen to you. If you let rats eat as much cheesecake, bacon, sausage, and other fatty foods as they want, not only will they become obese, but their dopamine responses will start to attenuate over time. So while a small slice of cheesecake once in a while may get your dopamine flowing, overdoing it may have negative consequences on your brain.

Feeling of intense romantic love lasts only about 18 months to—at best—three years.

Brains of these middle-aged men and women showed much the same activity as those of young lovers, individuals who had been intensely in love an average of only seven months. Indeed, there was just one important difference between the two groups: Among the older lovers, brain regions associated with anxiety were no longer active; instead, there was activity in the areas associated with calmness.

Sacrificing Love:  It is the foundation to every key relationship in life.

Revolutionizes marriage

Fortifies friendships

Business : we treat our colleagues, employees and customers

Communities : reach out to people and make their lives better

Love is sacrifice and has a lot more to do with being a servant than with being a hero. 

When you are concerned about the well being of others, you sacrifice.

  • Time
  • Energy
  • Money
  • Give up plans
  • Give up independence
  • Give up privacy
  • May have to part with whatever is most precious to you for the sake of someone else.

Hard because our Culture teaches exact opposite – Logic thinking doesn’t make sense or logic, it’s not fair.

True personal fulfillment never comes through self-gratification but opposite.

The right type of love never fails…. all other types of love will have you wanting but never satisfying.

 

Mark 8:34-35

Deny yourself

“Put aside your own pleasures and shoulder your cross and follow me closely.  If you insist on saving your life you will lose it.  Only those who throw away their lives for my sake and for the sake of the Good News will ever know what it means to really live.”

Matthew 20:26  … whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant,” (throughout the gospels: the one who rules is the one who serves)

Luke 22 :28  The one who stands beside me in trials.  (Through everything you love)

It is only when we give ourselves to God and joyfully serve his people in sacrificial love that we find fulfillment and satisfaction that the world will never know.

In marriage = a lot of sacrifice

  • A good marriage enhances the life of each spouse, making it fuller and more satisfying than it would be if the marriage did not exist.
  • Loving marriage help both spouses grow into their full potential rather than squelching either persons dreams
  • Loving spouses put the other persons needs above their own

The highest form of love…..do you agree?

In friendship = willing to make investment in someone’s life

Why is it so hard?  Commitment

Try it – keep giving and giving – good actions not a feeling…. Some do good but then what happens when people come to the point they are running on empty? They get angry at people: how do you know, people become problems. (hermit)

God tells us not only to live sacrificially but also steadfastly. (persistent, loyal, consistently)

“I am done!”  I am burnout….

How do we get refilled?

Spending time alone with God – He is source of love.  Jesus did this many times, leaving the crowd and go pray.

(can’t depend us getting love from another person) Hosea 12:6 But you must return to your God; maintain love and justice, and wait for your God always.

Want peace? 2 Corth 13:11 :  Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.

Satan. If he cannot destroy, he will try to disgrace or distress us If believers were left to themselves, they would fall; but they are kept by the power of God

Burn out 3 ways.

  1. Spiritually :  Love tank is low – daily time with God before the day starts. Listen to Christian music
  2. Emotionally: Feel uninterested in others – Life itself happens (bad days) . replenish yourself through relaxing or recreation
  3. Physically:  Won’t listen, no serving, no confront or encourage people, no energy, easily irritated, critical, short fused, defensive and negative.  It is hard to love others and equally hard for others to love them.

Act as Jesus would act and do in all 3 areas.….

I John 4:12 No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.

I Corth. 13:1 : If I had knowledge, if I gave to the poor, moved mountains, but If didn’t love others, I would be nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind.

Love does not always want nor boastful, is not conceited, or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

slow to anger when abused, not quick of resentment, nor hasty to revenge when affronted; but exercises forbearance, suffers long, and bears much, and is ready to forgive:
Agape love is the highest form of love.  Do you think you could reach it?

Love suffers long.


Love is kind.


Love does not envy.


Love does not parade itself.


Love is not puffed up.


Love does not behave rudely.


Love does not seek its own.


Love is not provoked.


Love thinks no evil.


Love does not rejoice in iniquity.


Love rejoices in the truth.


Love bears all things.


Love believes all things.


Love hopes all things.


Love endures all things.


Love never fails.

So what does Love Got to do with it… Everything… because without love you are nothing…

Abundant life, Encouragement, faith, forgiveness, Leadership, Love and Life of a Testimony, Patience, prayer, Salvation, Soul Winning

God Showers Us With White Snow

Backyard snow showered by God's loveJehovah is KING!

Let all the earth rejoice!  (The song keeps playing over and over in my head as I look across my back yard in the beauty of the white snow covering everything.  There is flurries swirling about as if God is sprinkling everything with powdered sugar – sweetness!) 

Back to center, back to roots, devotion first thing so I won’t get distracted with my social media, my writing and my business.  I love giving God time, the house is quiet and everyone is still asleep.  In fact all you can hear is the typing of my fingers and an occasional howl of the wind.  The smell of coffee, the warmth of the cup and the taste of God being with me warms my soul.

My reading comes from Psalms 97 today.  I read out of the Living Bible.  Its my favorite with it being paraphrased it’s like stepping into a story book and coming alive.  🙂

Righteousness and justice are the foundation of his throne….his lightning flashes out across the world, the earth sees and trembles.  The mountains melt like wax before the Lord of all the earth, the heavens declare his perfect righteousness every nation sees his glory.

The Lord loves those who hate evil; he protects the lives of his people and rescues them from the wicked.  Light is sown for the godly and joy for the good.  May all who are godly be happy in the Lord and crown him our holy God……

 God is good all the time – righteous is from Him.  When we allow Him to come into our lives, our thoughts are righteous and our actions our righteous.  All of creation knows this.  God is not mad or evil.  There is no evil in God.  I sometimes hear people say, God did this to me to teach me a lesson or He put this burden on me.  This is not true.  God allows things to happen to us to bring out the glory of Him and the good in us.  It is us to choose righteous behavior or actions during the trial.   

Let us be thankful for the good and the bad because no matter what God is King and He is righteous.  We declare that by allowing Him to be in us, protect us and rescue us through life.  Will you let Him?  

Abundant life, Emotional, Encouragement, Leadership, Love and Life of a Testimony, Made you smile, Salvation, Soul Winning, Weird Stuff

Contagious Smiling

Smiling is contagiousLast week I got to experience the film Compelled By Love starring Roland and Heidi Baker’s story.  I was proud to say that my son, Lyle was featured in the film.  The emotions I felt, the awe of being totally sold out to Jesus is truly phenomenal.  At the beginning of the film is an artist who starts painting a picture and you will see this throughout the film the stages of the piece, then at the end you see the final work.  The final picture is of Jesus with a contagious smile!  It makes you feel as though Jesus is happy, that He loves you and He wants you to smile.  Not only for His sake does He want you to smile but for your sake and the sake of others.  It’s contagious! Annalise Roth Phillips my granddaughter loves to smile!  Her smiling makes me smile.

Annalise our granddaughter is only 4 months old.  There is such a love connection when she totally trusts you to take care of her.  She looks at you with those blue eyes and as you talk to her and smile, she crinkles up her nose and smiles so big with her gums showing.  She smiles with her eyes.  It makes anyone talking to her want to get her to smile.  It is a smile that is rewarding even if it only last for just a few seconds.  I am looking forward to hearing her laugh and giggle throughout the house.  A smile, the emotion of trust and total happiness.

As a leader/pastor I love smiling.  I love smiling at people as I pass by, taking time to look into their eyes as if it is Jesus smiling back at me.  What a difference we can make if we just stop for the one regardless of how we feel at the time and smile.  Sometimes its hard for me especially because I am so caught up in the task or in my own thoughts of what I must get done I forget to look at the person in my busy schedule, however it is never my intention to ignore and I am learning to slow down and take time to the most valuable source on the planet… people!

This experience has made me realize how important smiling is.  It is important for at least five reasons according to Michael Hyatt.

  1. It helps others relax. When you scowl or look too intense, it creates a primal reaction in others. Their defenses go up. They become protective and guarded.

    This is the exact opposite of what you want to happen if you are trying to influence them. A smile communicates that you are safe and can be trusted.

  2. It draws people to you. Have you ever noticed how you are attracted to people who smile and laugh a lot? The positive energy is contagious. You instinctively smile in response.

    The simple fact is that people naturally want to be around people who are happy. If you want others to follow you, you can start by smiling more.

  3. It enables you to connect. Smiling is one of the best, quickest ways to connect with anyone from any culture. Even if you don’t speak the same language, a smile is universally appreciated.

    It opens the door, welcomes people into your world, and communicates acceptance. Even if people are frustrated or angry, a smile can often turn them around. In that moment you forge a connection.

  4. It creates positive culture. If you want to change the culture of an organization, change the behavior of its leaders. People naturally play “follow the leader.” When leaders smile, everyone smiles.

    Smiles communicate that your organization is a happy place to work. And who doesn’t want to work where people are smiling and happy?

  5. Why is smiling important for you to do?  Find out here! It elevates your mood. This is one of the surprising benefits of smiling. I had no idea. It literally affects you at a biological level, releasing endorphins and serotonin.

    Smiling has numerous physical and psychological benefits, including relieving stress, lowering your blood pressure, and boosting your immune system. And it’s much cheaper and healthier than drugs.

Seriously, set a goal to smile more this year. Recruit an accountability partner. Set reminders. Whatever it takes. As a leader, it will help ensure you have a positive impact on the people you are leading.  Relieve stress from your daily life right now… smile!

John 10:10…. Jesus said, “My purpose is to give life in all its fullness”.

Jesus is smiling always…. so why can’t we?…be contagious!

Abundant life, Encouragement, faith, Fear, forgiveness, Leadership, Love and Life of a Testimony, Salvation, Soul Winning, Supernatural

Your Behavior is Linked to Values

your actions are determined by your valuesLeading like Jesus my husband says, “If you live for Jesus hard, it is easy” but “If you live for Jesus easy, it is hard”.

Everyone of us must have a vision to know where we are going.  Most of us can have goals and try to achieve them in life.  Hopefully for all of us, our vision is heaven.  However in life we get distracted by life or get caught up in life we forget the ultimate goal.  Now don’t get me wrong, we should have life goals and achieve them, but we also should have a life full of peace and joy as we live it to see things accomplished .  Not only in that sense but to leave a legacy.  How will people remember you after you are gone?   Yes, life is not all peachy and roses but it is thru the tough times, Christ is there with us, leading us along the way to make right choices.  Those choices are determined by our values.

Seeing the ending in mind means we have a vision.    An element to the vision is our values, because values is linked to how you behave.  Values are nonnegotiable principles that define character in a person regardless if you are a leader or not.  Values is what drives behavior of all of us for our purpose and picture of the future.

true valuesIn Matthew 22:36-40 Jesus ranked two values and He put them in order.

  1.  Love God with all your heart, soul and mind.
  2.  Love your neighbor as yourself.

These are great principles for life but unless they are translated into behavior it won’t happen and they become good thoughts or just words on a paper that we all should live by.  In fact many people say they do live by these words, maybe not daily but try to.

We all  must make good choices and sometimes that means change.  Some of us are hot-wired for change and can adapt very quickly when others, change only is seen by heartache and pain.  We all want to be great leaders, in some form or fashion but to lead as Jesus, these two values must be put above everything else even if it means changing your environment.  The appropriate response for your circumstances will depend on what God has in mind for you.  Since we don’t know what tomorrow brings, that is hard I have to admit.  You see Jesus knows what is best for us regardless on how we feel, nevertheless He gives us a choice.

Our life and leadership are all about choices and the choices  made are based on our values.

I always said, “you are where you are right now in life because of the choices you made yesterday”  What do you stand for?

Before you can reach your goal, you must have a vision and the vision must compel and drive you to reach it.  Nothing should stand in your way.  Not circumstances, not change, not feelings or emotions, not hurt, nor life itself.  It’s called Living For Jesus Hard.  It’s being sold out to the cause.   Is it tough? Yes.  Is it hard to stay strong? Yes.  Do you feel like giving up? Yes.  Is it hard to keep the flesh under control and live by the Spirit under the name of a Christian. Yes.    what values do you hold

It is staying focused.  It is COMMUNICATION with the Most High and with people.  It is doing the right thing and having the wisdom for direction.  It is putting others first before yourself.  It is looking into the future to see the outcome: bettering people’s lives in reaching the ultimate vision.  It is determined by values.  Your choices in life always reflect your values.  Your behavior that you show has your value written all over your face and everyone will see it.

actions determine values

What values do people see written on your face?  They may not see it at first because of the mask, but they will see it in your actions.  Actions will always determine if you reach your vision (goals).   What is your life’s goals?  Do they reflect these two commandments?  Are you doing the right things in your behavior?  It’s kind of funny because sometimes I am hard-headed and aren’t we all sometimes when it comes to listening to the voice of God! Ha!.    Ultimately, I pray that my values will shine upon and through my life for the betterment of more people in influencing more than just a few.  How about you?

Abundant life, Emotional, Encouragement, faith, Fear, forgiveness, Leadership, Love and Life of a Testimony, marriage enrichment, Patience, Soul Winning, Weird Stuff

PooPoo Pie


Don't eat poop!  It causes stress, heartache and delusions!I had the best advice one time from a gal who may have not known how much wisdom she was spilling out to me.  I was struggling with lots of stress at the time because of the circumstances of transition and it all started with FaceBook.  Now keep in mind, I sometimes wear my feelings on my shoulders and grasp every perception that could be. I feel as though I am friendly to everyone and wouldn’t hurt a flea on purpose, so it just kills me if I think someone doesn’t like me.   My blood pressure was running high at the time and I was just sick of the so-called worry of what others think of us. I was talking about a post on FaceBook that I knew was about us but it didn’t mention our names.  She said to me, “Don’t own it”.  Those words forever changed my life and redirected my focus.

You see the enemy of our soul would love to continue to beat us down each day with negative remarks from gossip and lies.  People who I had loved for years were mouthing about our leadership, the church or whatever was told to them about us and not only did they believe it but some also continued with the remarks to others.  Sad to say, some still carry it with them.

Its time to "not own it" and throw out the poo poo pie!

 

God has a way to make us stronger as we continue to serve and depend on Him.  There was no unlawful or sin involved with us and in our eyes, we were doing the best of our ability to continue to move forward in what God wanted us to do, following after His steps.  As we continued our journey, we were pushed out of our many circles of people we loved dearly in who we had helped over the years.  It was a hard transition and I know that the past always tries to condemn and keep people from focusing on the future in winning lost souls.  With some is easier to point fingers rather than take responsibility sometimes.  I was taking responsibility with the words that was being said instead of ignoring them.

The “don’t own it” is what I call Poo Poo Pie.  You see when someone makes a remark about you or tries to control your thoughts or actions either through manipulation, control or gossip its like they are handing you a poo poo pie. Have you ever thought of it that way?  PooPoo Pie is nasty and although it may look good or not, you have the ability to receive it or not to.  If you take it, you own it.  You can put it on your shelf, on your counter top, in your bedroom next to your night stand or in your fridge.  Heck, in fact you can drive it around in your car, put it in your purse or take it on a date!  PooPoo Pie never runs out and every time you “own” the remarks or the gossip, bring it up in conversation or the hurt you are taking a big bite out of your pie!  You are in control of your emotions, thoughts and actions.  People may even throw the pie at you but you don’t have to own it!

Want a slice of poo pie?  This is not a recipe you want to share!  Don't own it!It’s time to throw out the pie, in fact, throw out the pie in the garbage and never look through the trash to own it again.  Move forward and don’t own it!  Poo Poo Pie causes high blood pressure, it causes stress, it causes you to have strongholds in your mind to distract you from what God is calling you to do.  It is deceiving.  It makes you sick and you share the poo pie with others and it makes them sick.  I say “stop passing the poo pie!”

Want a piece of POO POO PIE?

So here is my word of advice that I so wonderfully learned through the transition that I may pass to you…. “don’t own it” keep focused on what God has called you to do, because it is only HIM that you must deal with and He doesn’t eat poo poo pie, He has a buffet of life and life more abundantly, total goodness, health, peace and joy, most of all love.  I would rather eat from the buffet instead from the poo poo pie.

What do you think?  Had any pie lately?

New International Version
Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.

English Standard Version
But Peter and the apostles answered, “We must obey God rather than men.

English Standard Version
We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ

2 Corinthians 10:4
The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.

 

Love and Life of a Testimony, Made you smile, Weird Stuff

How to Read Your Dog Just by Watching Her Tail

Roxie wagging her tail....Roxie is so cute and she just turned 10 years old Christmas Eve.  She drives me crazy sometime when she barks for no reason.  I thought this article was worth sharing and now I am going to start paying attention to her tail.  lol….

By Dr. Becker

New research suggests dogs send messages to each other through tail wags.

According to a study published in a recent issue of Current Biology,1 the direction of a wag is quite significant. What looks like just another friendly wag to you or me is actually communicating important information to other dogs.

As it turns out, when dogs are feeling stressed they tend to wag their tails to the left. The reason for this, according to the study’s lead author, Giorgio Vallortigara of the University of Trento in Italy, is that tail wagging is a reflection of what’s going on in a dog’s brain. Activation of the left-brain causes the tail to wag to the right, and activation of the right-brain produces a wag to the left.

 

Tail Wags to the Right Signal Openness, Wags to the Left Signal Wariness

In an earlier study, Vallortigara and his team demonstrated that dogs wag to the right side when they encounter something pleasant (like their owners). When they see something threatening, for example, a strange dog exhibiting dominant behaviors, they wag more to the left side. Those study results raised the question of whether dogs notice another dog’s tail wagging and use the information to decide whether the dog with the wagging tail is friend or foe.

For the most recent study, Vallortigara and his team used videos of a dog or dog silhouette wagging its tail mostly to one side or the other, or not wagging at all. The only thing moving in the wagging videos was the tail.

The video was shown to 43 dogs, including mixed breeds, Rottweilers, Beagles, Boxers, Border Collies, and German Shepherds, who were equipped with heart rate monitors. When the video dog wagged primarily to its left, indicating a negative response, the dogs in the study tended to have faster heartbeats than when the video dog wagged to the right or not at all. The dogs’ response also suggested a higher degree of stress.

Left-brain activity in dogs resulting in tail wagging to the right means they are having a positive response that invites another dog to approach. Right-brain activation suggests a negative withdrawal response.

 

Study Concludes Dogs Read the Tail Wags of Other Dogs

The study concluded that dogs who see another dog wagging to the left experience anxiety and elevated heart rates, whereas dogs who see another dog wagging to the right remain relaxed.

The researchers don’t believe the dogs are intentionally sending signals with their tails, but rather the tail wagging is a consequence of the inner workings of the canine brain. Tail-wagging behavior results from the way in which different emotional signals activate different parts of a dog’s brain.

“These results suggest that dogs have perceptual and attentional asymmetries,” says Vallortigara. “So for example, if you are going to visit a dog, if you are vet, there will be probably a side which is better with respect to the probability to evoke a more friendship response or to evoke a more aggressive response.”

Abundant life, Encouragement, faith, Fear, forgiveness, Leadership, marriage enrichment, Parenthood, Salvation

Fire Out Of Control

resentment is the cocaine of emotions.....
Resentment is the cocaine of the emotions.  It causes our blood to pump and our energy level to rise.  Like cocaine, it demands increasingly large and more frequent dosages.

There is dangerous point at which anger ceases to be an emotion and becomes a driving force.  A person bent on revenge moves unknowingly further and further away from being able to forgive, for to be without the anger is to be without a source of energy.

Hatred is the rabid dog that turns on its owner.

 

Hatred is the rabid dog that turns on its owner.

Revenge is the raging fire that consumes the arsonist.

Revenge is the raging fire that consumes the arsonist.

 

bitterness is the trap that snares the hunterBitterness is the trap that snares the hunter.

Mercy is the choice that can set them all free.

From the “The Applause of Heaven”

Abundant life, faith, Fear, forgiveness, Leadership

Would David Delete His Facebook Friends?

Why should you not delete your facebook friends David had many people who lied about him and spread gossipI always wondered why people delete their Facebook friends.  It is kinda sad but holds true to most people who delete.  Sometimes it is just to clean out your Facebook and start something new and sometimes it is just wanting to block the person from showing up in your news feed.  It used to bother me when someone deleted me, because that can really mess up your thoughts on who you thought were true friends, but now I don’t get too much drama in my head when someone unfriended me.  I know there is something more going on in that person’s head to feel as though they should delete.  For some it gives the person a type of control and makes them feel powerful with a press of the button to end a friendship.  Sometimes it is a hurt that is hard to deal with and instead of valuing the relationship with courageous conversation it is thought better to run from it.  It is a type of protective mode and I understand that.

I wonder how David in the Bible would have felt if he had a Facebook or used some type of social media?  Let us look at Psalms 57.

 

David starts out crying out to God and runs to Him for hiding as the storms of life surround him.  This is a good thing, yet notice David runs to God and not away from Him despite the circumstances of life or the chaos that is going on.  David realizes the power of God, the grace of God and His saving power with confessing his faith.  He also knows that God will rescue him from the liars who are so intent upon destroying him, using the words “I am surrounded by fierce lions, hotheads whose teeth are sharp as spears and arrows. Their tongues are like swords….”  David knew his enemies were setting traps for him and he was fearful of the future but knew he must stay faithful to God.  He then watched his enemies fall into the traps themselves.  He goes on to continue to praise God and sing Him praises for His loving kindness.  Davids wishes thru all of this time in his life , God’s glory be brought throughout all the earth.  David was hurt and he was scared of what people would think or view of him.  A natural response when you know people spread gossip and lies about you.

God is still faithful to those who run toward Him and His grace and mercy endures forever to either party.  The next time you get the urge to delete, if you value the relationship take time to ask yourself “why” you are deleting.  Is it because of unmet expectations, or hurt feelings or just a clean up.  Either or say a prayer over the person instead of hating.  Practice love instead of judgement.  Even in the midst of storms in your life, you can produce fruit for others to follow as God takes care of your enemies.

Facebook is network.  It links you to a person in years down the road could open an opportunity up for you.  I heard a man say once, “Don’t burn bridges or one day you may have no place to go”.

David continued to praise and worship God thru all circumustances!

What do you think?  Would David’s friends delete him or would David delete the people who were spreading lies about him?

Abundant life, Encouragement, faith, forgiveness, Love and Life of a Testimony

Run Toward The Light

I walk in the light
Remember those scary movies you watched as a child?  They would always say, “Run toward the light!” if they were in some limbo area to crossover between death and life.  I find it kind of ironic now for we pursue the same thing knowing what the “Light” is.

We all are on a journey called life, and we really don’t fit into this world, yet we pursue the light.  As we pursue the light the less important things seem to be in this world and character shapes us to who we become.  The light is not darkness, the light is love.  The light is doing the right things.  The light is forgiveness.

If we fail to look closely at our thoughts, motives, attitudes and priorities we will relate with others in unhealthy ways.  The type of person we are is a clear reflections of the condition of our inner life.  Either we walk in darkness and chaos or we walk in light with peace.

images-3

We all have difficulty looking honestly at ourselves and it is easy to overlook our own flaws but oh how easy it is to see the flaws of others.  Can you love others regardless of the flaws?  We tend to blame circumstances for our behavior rather than taking responsibility for our responses.  Right character requires making right choices and disciplining ourself daily.

When we are not running toward the light we will:  react in unhealthy ways of being impatient, unkind, judgmental.  We will fight the wrong battles thinking it is our responsibility to change others.  We will rely on our natural ability to love, however no matter how hard we try our ability will never be enough without God’s help.

I don’t know about you but running toward the light is a daily action and though process.  It is taking time to be thankful for what you have.  It is being kind despite the circumstances.  It is showing and doing right things to others and to yourself.  It is having peace and choosing peace in your household.  So with all that said…. “Run toward the Light” it is your answer to get through this world!

I John 1:5  This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all.

Abundant life, Educational and Informative, Leadership, Love and Life of a Testimony, Made you smile, Parenthood, Weird Stuff

My Name Is Melissa

my name is melissaHave you ever looked up your name before? I highly suggest before you name your baby please look it up.  I know not too many people take that time to find out more but I do think it is important because it seems that my family has all lived out their name.

My name Melissa means “honeybee”.  Quite fitting I might add.  I am busy as a bee going from one thing to the next, flying around being the social bug that I am.  I love sweets and honey too I might add.  In Ireland it is sometimes used as a feminine form of the Gaelic male name Maoilíosa, which means “servant of Jesus.” My name was very popular during the decades from the 1960s through the 1990s, today Melissa is somewhat of a rare baby name; in 2010, fewer than 2,500 girls were given the name.  So that leaves me very unique! As an English given name, Melissa has been used since the 18th century, wow so I have a name who is old and unique.   In Persian, it means “red rose.”  and from the Urban dictionary :

Melissa meaning:
A very beautiful person inside and out.
Will always make you laugh and give you a hug before you even know you need one!
Can be some what blunt. But at least you know she is truthful. Very sweet and easy to talk to. Loves the color pink and loves her family more than anything else!
High morals. She sets her own ground.
Melissa has everything in pink! (Which I find it kind of ironic I named my blog for my Plexus Business “thinkpinkgirl”.  YOU CAN CHECK it out here.  www.thinkpinkgirl.wordpress.com

People with this name have a deep inner desire to use their abilities in leadership, and to have personal independence. They would rather focus on large, important issues, and delegate the details.  People with this name tend to be idealistic, highly imaginative, intuitive, and spiritual. They seek after spiritual truth and often find it. They tend to be visionary and inspire others.

My middle name is Ann.  My grandmother didn’t like the name Melissa so she called me Ann.  In fact most of my mothers side of the family called me Ann.  Here is what Ann means: Ann \a-nn\ as a girl’s name is pronounced anThe origin of the name Ann is Hebrew the meaning of Ann is “He (God) has favored me” , Gracious, Merciful,

Now for  the rest of my family.  I pulled from different resources so don’t think I made all this up! lol

Jeffery Martin : Gift of Peace : People with this name have a deep inner desire to use their abilities in leadership, and to have personal independence. They would rather focus on large, important issues, and delegate the details. This name has very independent nature, yet you are friendly, approachable, and generous.  You can be a spontaneous, expressive, and talkative person.  Generally you are good-natured, though at times you can be rather blunt and sarcastic.  You like to do things on the spur of the moment without planning or prior arrangements.  Your spirits are buoyed up greatly by encouragement and appreciation.  (Before he was adopted by the Phillips family, now if we look at Jeff’s name given at birth was Howard :  Middle English origin, meaning “sheep herder”) Now looking at his profession of being a pastor I believe his name has played out well.

Lyle Benjamin:  The name Lyle is an English baby name. In English the meaning of the name Lyle is:The island or from the island. From Old French ‘L’isle’. The name Lyle in American the meaning of the name Lyle is: The island or from the island. People with this name have a deep inner desire for travel and adventure, and want to set their own pace in life without being governed by tradition.  People with this name tend to be passionate, compassionate, intuitive, romantic, and to have magnetic personalities. They are usually humanitarian, broad-minded and generous, and tend to follow professions where they can serve humanity. Because they are so affectionate and giving, they may be imposed on. They are romantic and easily fall in love, but may be easily hurt and are sometimes quick-tempered.  Benjamin: Son of right hand, People with this name have a deep inner desire for a stable, loving family or community, and a need to work with others and to be appreciated. People with this name are excited by change, adventure, and excitement. They are dynamic, visionary and versatile, able to make constructive use of freedom. They fight being restricted by rules and conventions. They tend to be optimistic, energetic, intelligent, and to make friends easily. They may be changeable, restless, untidy, and rebellious.

Bryson Roth: It is Welsh origin meaning:   son of a nobleman, freckled, red:   People with this name have a deep inner desire for a stable, loving family or community, and a need to work with others and to be appreciated.  People with this name tend to be creative and excellent at expressing themselves. They are drawn to the arts, and often enjoy life immensely. They are often the center of attention, and enjoy careers that put them in the limelight. They tend to become involved in many different activities, and are sometimes reckless with both their energies and with money. You have a natural interest in the welfare of your fellow-man, and a desire to help and serve others in a humanitarian way. You are responsible and generous, although somewhat scattering and disorganized at times. Any jobs requiring systematic and conscientious effort, or involving any form of drudgery, dismay you. In your work, you would seek a position offering self-expression through contact with people, such as sales or teaching, or a position giving scope to your creative, artistic talents.You are good-natured and likeable, and people tend to confide in you and seek your advice in personal problems.Others sense your sincere interest and desire to help, and you can always be counted on to see the bright side of any problem.You enjoy making others happy and you never let your own problems “get you down” for any length of time, even though you do tend to worry too much at times.In close personal relationships you are usually thoughtful and considerate. Health weakness would appear as skin conditions or ailments relative to the liver and tendency to overeat quick-energy foods aggravates any health problems. Roth: nickname for a person with red hair, People with this name are excellent at analyzing, understanding, and learning.   Because they live so much in the mind, they tend to be quiet and introspective, and are usually introverts. When presented with issues, they will see the larger picture. Their solitary thoughtfulness and analysis of people and world events may make them seem aloof, and sometimes even melancholy. (It is quite ironic that Bryson has redish hair and in his beard and from time to time has stomach issues when he eats certain foods.)

Jordan Heath:As a name, it comes from the Aramaic Yarden, meaning “one who descends” In Hebrew the meaning of the name Jordan is: To flow down. Flowing down. People with this name have a deep inner need for quiet, and a desire to understand and analyze the world they live in, and to learn the deeper truths. People with this name are competent, practical, and often obtain great power and wealth. They tend to be successful in business and commercial affairs, and are able to achieve great material dreams. Because they often focus so strongly on business and achievement, they may neglect their private lives and relationships. Heath: Untended land where flowering shrubs grow.  Your name of Heath gives you a clever mind, good business judgment, a sense of responsibility, and an appreciation of the finer things of life.Home and family mean a great deal to you and it is natural that you should desire the security of a peaceful, settled home environment where you can enjoy the companionship of family and friends.Whatever you set out to accomplish you do your very best to complete in accordance with what you consider to be right.In the home you assume your responsibilities capably, having the self-confidence to form your own opinions and make your own decisions.Others can rely on you; once you have given your word you will do your utmost to fulfill a responsibility.

Spencer Edward:  The male name Spencer means ‘steward’ or ‘dispenser of supplies’.  The first name of Spencer creates a shrewd, aggressive, business nature, intent on personal gain.The desires for independence and financial success have been strong motivating forces from early in your life.You are capable of logical and analytical thinking along practical business lines, and could excel in financial fields, law, or politics.You have definite executive and leadership abilities, however others may find you to be rather forceful and uncompromising.More congenial business and personal relationships would result from being more tactful and more aware of the needs of others.Your name of Edward gives you self-assurance, independence, and confidence. You have depth of mind and the ability to concentrate and to follow a line of thought to a logical conclusion. Your love of challenging the concepts of others invariably leads you to create your own ideas and to pioneer new lines of thought.Your strong characteristic of individuality qualifies you as a leader.You must be independent and you do not brook interference in any way.Although you do not tolerate interference in your own affairs, this characteristic does not prevent you from interfering in the affairs of others.You are usually either telling or showing someone how to do something properly.Although you are good-natured and never intend offence, still your blunt, direct, and candid manner of expression strains friendships; your honesty and sincerity earn respect from others.You have to be your own boss as it is most difficult for you to submit to direction from others. (This would explain his leadership/management skills!)

Annalise Roth:  Graced with God’s bounty, gracious and pledged to God.  Is happiest when expressing in some creative, artistic way, and not conforming to strict routine, you are expressive, witty, and quite charming.  Drawn to the arts.  They are deep, philosophical, and refined, with extremely sensitive nature. If not careful, people take advantage of  the generous nature. They find the beauties of nature, fine music, art, and literature–all the deeper things of life–inspiring but crave affection and understanding, analyzing people.  (We will see how this plays out, since she is only 8 weeks old 🙂 )