Abundant life, Emotional, Encouragement, faith, Fear, forgiveness, Love and Life of a Testimony, Patience, prayer, Salvation, Sermon Notes

I AM…..

The Ladies Summit we had at Owensboro Legacy a couple of weeks ago, I had the privilege to speak about Shattered Reflections.  Here are my sermon notes.

I AM….. you fill in the blank…. TWO of the most powerful words but it is what you put after them shapes your reality

If you are like me, it depends on what my mood is that day, what emotions I am feeling or my environment, the people I am around, if I read the Word or prayed…. But better yet what is going on in my mind.

Life – the reality of day to day living.  The up’s and down’s and the all in between.

Life’s experiences can prevent us from reaching our full potential of what God has for us unless we get free and stay free from the lies the enemy entangles us.

John 6:23 It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all.

Galatians 5:16-18:  So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh or sinful nature craves.

The sinful nature wants to do what pleases us,  the opposite of what the Spirit wants.

These two forces are constantly fighting each other.

 

By walking in the spirit we can be victorious and have a life that reflects Christ.

 

FRUIT:  Vs 22-25: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

 

The Law of Moses was unable to save us because of the weakness of our sinful nature. So God did what the law could not do. He sent his Son in a body like us and died for our sins so the law was fulfilled and we no longer follow our sinful nature but instead can follow the Spirit.

But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

GOD MADE A WAY

Galatians 5:13 You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.

2 Corthinians 3:17 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

We must be LED by the spirit.  LED = a verb ACTION meaning to lead, guide or brought.

The difference between lead and follow:

Lead is a strong force.

Follow leaves it us to us on our own.

The Spirit is not a leader like the pace car in the “Daytona 500.” He is a leader like a locomotive on a train.

We do not follow in our strength. We are led by his power. So “walk by the Spirit” means stay hooked up to the divine source of power and go wherever he leads.

People who try to love without relying on God’s Spirit always wind up trying to fill their own emptiness rather than sharing their fullness. And so love ceases to be love.

Love won’t be easy for us because we are not being led and we don’t have the freedom we are looking for.  We become trapped in fear relying on our own strength, shattered reflections.

When Christian life looks too hard, we must remember that we are not called to live it by ourselves in our own strength nor are we called to stay in bondage to depression, anxiety, identity lies, shame and guilt, unforgiveness,  betrayal .”  IT IS FREEDOM

Lets talk about our topics:  these lies all give us Physical, behavioral changes and Emotional symptoms or signs of what we are experiencing.  They affect us physically, how we act/behave and what we are experiencing emotional.

If we are a triune being:  body, soul and spirit.

These affect our body; these affect our soul.

Anxiety and Depression – estimated that 45 percent of people with one mental health condition meet the criteria for two or more disorders.

Depression and anxiety disorders (mess, turmoil, unrest) are medical conditions (circumstance, situation, environment, surrounding).

Anxiety and depression are NOT a result of failure or weakness.

These are feelings from a result of underlying causes (motive or source) and triggers; it’s not the result of something you did or didn’t do.

Physical, behavioral and emotional symptoms occur.  (SOUL (HEART, WILL) AND BODY)

Anxiety, or fear and worry, can happen to anyone that usually leads to irrational thoughts and fears that interfere with your daily life.

Physical, behavioral changes and Emotional symptoms

Shame and Guilt –

Guilt: a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined.   It involves the awareness of having done something wrong; it arises from our actions (even if it might be one that occurs in fantasy). GUILT COMES FROM ACTIONS.  Guilt is a focus on behavior

Shame:

The painful feeling arising from the consciousness of something dishonorable, improper, ridiculous, etc., done by oneself or another.

It’s a painful feeling about how we appear to others (and to ourselves) and doesn’t necessarily depend on our having done anything. Shame is a focus on self,

Shame is, “I am bad.” Guilt is, “I did something bad.” Guilt: I’m sorry. I made a mistake. Shame: I’m sorry. I am a mistake.

Shame is highly, highly correlated with addiction, depression, violence, aggression, bullying, suicide, and eating disorders.   (SHAME IS A PAINFUL FEELING THAT RESIDES IN THE MIND THAT AFFECTS THE BODY – FOCUSED ON SELF)

 

Unforgiveness – How do you know if someone deals with unforgiveness:

  • *Experiencing bursts of anger. (You’re likely bottling up your anger.) Oftentimes, the person who is the recipient of the inevitable outburst is not the person who caused the stress or pain
  • You’re desperate to make them understand how you feel, you can’t control the hurtful person, but you can control your environment. This can quickly become a negative spiral of compulsive activity. Maybe for you this means keeping your spaces spotless, checking social media repeatedly, or making unnecessary purchases. Maybe it involves comfort eating.
  • You’re unable to reframe your experiences
  • Find yourselfblamingthe person

“I hold you responsible not just for what you did to me, but how I reacted and responded to what you did. I hold you responsible for my unhappiness.”

  • Sickness in the body.

If you’re struggling with stress related illness such as anxiety, depression, or high blood pressure, it may be time to try some forgiveness therapy. (Affects body and soul)

You’re keeping a list of offenses

You hate yourself

  • If you’re stuck in unforgiveness, you are probably experiencing a toxic brew of guilt, shame, self-judgment, and self-sabotage.

You replay the scene over and over…and over

  • You gossip about them, it’s natural to want to return the hurt to those who have hurt us.

You’re self-righteous and entitled If you harbor the belief that you did everything right and they did everything wrong, you probably need to honestly reexamine your own behavior.

Betrayal – Betrayal is one of the one of the most painful human experiences.

When we see the word “betrayal” we may immediately think “affair.” But betrayal comes in many forms. Abandonment, vicious gossip, and spreading lies.

The damage is our sense of reality is undermined.  Trust crumbles. Innocence shattered. We’re left wondering: What happened? How could this happen? Who is this person?

Betrayal is an unavoidable human experience — the positive side of it may help us move toward deeper wisdom and maturity, understand of what love is and what love isn’t. And can also allow ourselves time to heal and understand ourselves — and others — more deeply.

What is important is not to let it destroy your trust in others when that happens.

Identity – enduring and continuous sense of who we are.  Who does God say you are?

 

Fleshly desires – For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.  Galatians 5:19-21 When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

 

Belonging and acceptance – A feeling (soul issue) of acceptance and belonging is an important part of a high performance culture.

Individuals, who feel like they belong, gain security. This sense of security then nurtures self-esteem. Maslow, when writing about the Hierarchy of Needs, believed that most of society’s social problems stemmed from this basic need (for belonging) not being met.

You are here tonight because you want to rid yourself of something, you long for freedom, rest, peace, a quietness that only God can give you.

Growth and transformation rarely come without pain.

Your pain is actually an opportunity to make you Christ like.

 

God made us triune beings – Body, Soul, Spirit.

  • We must see ourselves as this whole being
  • Appreciate how God made us without elevating one part over the other.

When we are not healthy in our triune being, we not feeling our best and the people around us cannot experience us in our full capacity.  

Spirit 

  • Your spirit is the spiritual or supernatural side of you, not a battle ground like the soul
  • It is not material,
  • It is not visible,
  • It’s not of this world, but it’s from God and lives eternal
  • Able to interact with the spiritual world.
  • It is what allows you to hear from God
  • Allows you to have faith for miracles

Soul – An easy way to understand what happens in your soul is whatever happens in your brain – heart-will-personality.

  • It’s also invisible like your spirit
  • Contains your emotion, your will, your desires, sensory perception, conscious, and your reasoning or logic.
  • Solemn says EVERY ISSUE in Life flows out of it
  • Words you speak affects your soul to yourself or to others

Now, because of sin, our soul, emotions, will, mind, desires

  • Pointed inward – Looks earthward
  • Always consumed with the self unless it is willingly disciplines and kept in check.
  • Decides what you want to do and send the signal to your physical body in order to act out your decisions.
  • Social media is playground for the soul

When God feeds your spirit (you allow or reject), which feeds the soul, (you either believe or choose to not believe) your body will follow.

Remember soul (heart, mind, will, emotions) always wins over knowledge.  We know to do good yet we fight against ourselves to struggle to escape.  Spirit must be fed daily to win the battle.

Your actions EVERYTHING YOU DO IS controlled by either your soul (your heart, mind, will or emotions) or by the spirit of God = whichever you believe the most will win and then it tells the body what to do.

Soul (psyche) part of flesh but the governor of our heart and mind – patterns, conclusions (joined to the spirit but different) initiates movement based on what it is feeling and thinking. (Personality) Soul never rests and always busy. (Needs to be saved, restored, survive, confusion, worn itself out trying to find direction, needs rest) Psalm 23:3

Why does finding rest for your soul matter?

3 John 1:2:

Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers.”

The prosperity of your soul is linked to the prosperity of your body.

However, it’s easy to forget about taking care of our souls.

Too often, we try to hide our hurts behind busying ourselves with other people. We either don’t want to face God, or we hurt so badly that we are afraid of His work in our hearts. .

ASK:  DO YOU MAKE YOUR SCHEDULE WITH GOD OR WE WORK GOD IN OUR SCHEDULE?

When we refuse to embrace solitude even occasionally, we run from God. There is much healing to be found in getting alone with God.

How do we know we need rest for our soul?  These shattered lies….

Physical Fatigue

Physical and spiritual fatigue can be two different things, but when we’re tired in our souls, we’re mostly also tired in the physical as well. The body, soul and spirit are so intertwined that they actually affect each other.

  1. A Lost Hunger for God’s Word
  2. Feelings of Being Far From God

Have you ever felt so distant from God?

  1. No Desire to Serve Others

It’s hard to serve others when we feel like God hasn’t taken care of our own spiritual needs. Serving others always works best out of an overflow of a heart, mind and spirit fully rested and satisfied in Christ.

  1. Entitlement

Spiritual depravation can sometimes cause the spiritually exhausted to seek nothing else but our own satisfaction. This can cause people to become entitled because of a lack of in filling and rest in God’s presence.

  1. Feelings of Uncertainty

Hopelessness is not just the absence of hope, but also the absence of a good amount of rest for the soul. It’s hard to find hope when we’re tired. That’s why it’s very important to rest the soul if we want to continue trying to find hope in God.

You are seen and you are heard, He knows you by name

Everything he has brought you through, is because what seed he has put in you.

You see the enemy in the garden didn’t go after the woman first because she is weak; it is because she has influence

We receive seed in the natural and in the spiritual.

Abraham – we are a promise seed that is our identity.    Trust in the process and only He knows what environment that is going to bring forth the fruit.

Luke 10:27 – Love the Lord your God with all your

heart – emotions/feelings – we can take our thought patterns, walk away from

These are the battleground that the enemy comes after. 2 CORTH 10:5 – We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,

Luke 1:37 Nothing is impossible with God!

When we leave here today, the enemy will come to you and try to make you feel …

Step back and look from a different perspective. God’s view.

Now I want you to finish your statement of I AM………

Abundant life, Educational and Informative, Emotional, Encouragement, Leadership, Love and Life of a Testimony, prayer, Salvation, Supernatural

A Self Test To Determine If You are Under the Influence of a Religious Spirit

The word of God says we can recognize a tree by the fruit that it bears (Matthew 12:33-37).

Many times we get hurt in the Christian world due to opinions of others or the expectations of others of what they think we should be, do or say.  Communication is not the followed protocol therefore it becomes easy to express your viewpoint to others, hurting the one not present in the aftermath.  Pastors and other leaders are the target. I have found through research it is the “religious spirit” in work and not always the unlearned new believer that causes the hurt.

 A person with the spirit of religion will produce more division than lasting works.

The aftermath of a religious spirit is like a wave of bitterness with a ripple effect that prevents many people from being all they can be in Christ or even turning people the other way and not serving God at all.  The taste of blood from a “preacher did them wrong” can sometimes be irreversible for years until their heart melts and walls are torn down for healing all because a religious spirit pukes on a believer their opinion.

Family bonds within a church community works with communication.  If a brother offends you as the Word tells us, go to him or her and talk about the offense to see if you are “correct” in your own mind versus a sin.  Most of the time it is an opinion  of what is believed it should be versus the latter. Religion and relationship don’t get along, and this is why religious spirits will work diligently to hinder true meaningful relationships between God and His children.

A religious spirit is a demon that wages war against the grace of God in our lives and acceptance of Jesus’ work as. When ritual controls our relationships this is Religion. Ritual minus relationship equals religion. The spirit of religion is an agent of Satan assigned to prevent change and to maintain the status quo by using religious devices.The Pharisees were obvious examples of people who have religious spirits although we would never compare our own behavior to them, a religious spirit is very destructive to our intimate relationships with God.

Religious spirits are more interested in judgment than forgiveness and grace

Religious spirits can manifest in different ways for different people.

It is important to understand that to be influenced does not mean to be possessed, but rather simply means to be:

  • Affected
  • Inspired
  • Moved
  • Swayed
  • Motivated

Most of us are subject to religious spirits to some degree. Paul exhorts us to “test ourselves to see if we are in the faith”, (2 Corinthians 13:5).

HERE IS A LITTLE TEST TO SEE IF YOU HAVE BEEN INFLUENCED BY A SPIRIT OF RELIGION: CHECK ALL THAT APPLY

Do you listen with a critical ear rather than an open heart

Do you have a tendency to see your primary mission as tearing down what you believe is wrong verses seeing the person’s Godly fruit or Christian walk

Do you feel as though it is your mission to point out or tear down or express your opinion to others when you think something is wrong instead of going to the source

Are you more inclined to see what is wrong with churches rather than what is right and feel the need to “fix” the issues you think is wrong

Do you use gossip and slander to assassinate other peoples’ character and may even use violence to prove your point or even be suspicious of others motives

Do you have a sense that you are closer to God than other people

Do you ever feel like you can never be good enough

You perform Christian duties but have no passion or hunger for God

Do you take pride in your spiritual routine of prayer and other ministries in which you feel you are more qualified to lead than other people or groups and maybe feel as though you have the best team or leadership

Do you hold a grudge against someone who did you wrong

Interested in seeing somebody pay or be punished for their wrongdoing or their past instead of seeing them repent and receive forgiveness and grace from God

Do you reject progress or refuse to embrace change, therefore buck the system, disagree with your leaders or new ministries in the church

Do you see yourself following certain rules, or regulations regarding the outward man, in order to be in right standing with God.  This would include dressing a certain way, legalism, working or earning your salvation

Judging people by their appearance or overreact to carnality or immaturity of the church

Do you feel the need of having recognition and titles in the church world or receive identity in the things in attempt to do for God and church

Do you make a big deal about the doctrines accumulated through head knowledge

Do you use emotionalism as a substitute for the work of the holy spirit or if emotion isn’t expressed believe the Holy Spirit is being hindered

Do you appear righteous but inside filled with anger, resentment and envy

Do you believe you are on the cutting edge of what God is doing and closer to God than your leaders or friends

Are you unable to take rebuke or have a philosophy that you only listen to God

Do you feel an overwhelming guilt you couldn’t ever be good enough

Do you glory more in what God has done in the past rather than in what God is doing in the present or use the words for God to move we must do this as we did back then

D0 you ever feel as though you are not saved, doubt God

THE COUNTERFEIT GIFT OF DISCERNMENT

A religious spirit gives birth to a counterfeit gift of discernment of spirits. This counterfeit gift thrives on seeing what is wrong with others rather than seeing what God is doing to help them along. If you checked on the self-test, you tend to have a counterfeit gift of discernment. Its wisdom is rooted in the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, and thought the truth may be accurate; it is ministered in a spirit that kills. Suspicion, which is motivated by rejection, territorial preservation or general insecurity, causes this counterfeit gift. However the true gift of discernment can only function with love. In 2 Corinthians 11:13-15, Paul warns them about those who minister in a religious spirit that they try to place a yoke of legalism on the believers. Religions that are based on works will tend to become violent easily, especially when confronted with those who live by faith. This includes “Christian Religions” where a doctrine of works has supplanted the cross of Christ. Those who are driven by religious spirits may try to destroy the true Christian by onslaughts of slander.

THE SPIRIT OF JEZEBEL

The Spirit of Jezebel is a combination of the religious spirit and the spirit of witchcraft that is the spirit of manipulation and control. This spirit is often found in deeply wounded people. Every trial in our lives will either make us bitter or better, and the cross will heal every spiritual wound if we will turn to it. Those who are deeply wounded who do not go to the cross can open themselves up to this evil spirit. The Jezebel spirit is one of the enemy’s most potent forms of the religious spirit that seeks to keep the church and the world from being prepared for the Lord. This spirit attacks the prophetic ministry through which the Lord wants to give timely, strategic direction to His people. Jezebel knows that by removing the true prophets, the people will be vulnerable to her false prophets, which always leads to idolatry and spiritual adultery. When there is a void of the true prophetic word, the people will be much more prone to the deception of the enemy. A religious spirit produces religious pride so that God will not communicate with those who are proud. In Matthew 15:14, Jesus called the religious leaders of the day “blind guides”. A primary strategy of the religious spirit is to get the church devoted to sacrifice in a way that perverts the command for us to take up our crosses daily. This perversion will have us putting more faith in our sacrifices than in the Lord’s sacrifice. It will also use sacrifices and offerings to try to get God to manifest Himself. This is a form of the terrible delusion that we can somehow purchase the grace and presence of God with our good works.

Religious spirits hold people in spiritual slavery. The battle against this spiritual slavery can only be won by unconditional love, in living the Christian life focused on Jesus and the Word of God and being filled with the Holy Spirit.

If you have been affected by the Religious Spirit, take time to ask our Heavenly Father to forgive and to allow us to practice grace instead of judging, to show grace more than pointing out faults and to be humble, full of joy as we lead others by example producing much fruit for the glory of God.  Rebuke the spirit of religion out of your life, resist and walk forward into your identity as the sons and daughters of Jesus Christ, the Lord above all.

God Bless!

Melissa

Abundant life, Educational and Informative, Emotional, Encouragement, Leadership, Love and Life of a Testimony, Parenthood, Patience, prayer, Sermon Notes

Family Life – We Are Family

This past Sunday, as a family, we were speaking in three different states.  Jeff, my husband was in Tennessee, our oldest son, Lyle and his wife Allison was speaking in Washington DC and the other boys and I here in Owensboro, Kentucky.  

As I look over the years, my boys now men raising their own families, it came down to asking them questions as their viewpoint of how our family was considered in this topic.  We all want to be better parents than our own parents or at least I did so I asked them the same questions. It’s not that we had ‘bad’ parents, it’s just that we all have different personalities, opinions and different parenting styles.  We all change somewhat as we become parents ourselves however the distinct pattern of parenting of programing will linger in some areas.

WHEN THERE IS AN EMOTION/FEELING/PAIN/or CONSISTENCY attached to a routine/instance, children will remember. If your children are grown, take them on a trip of memory lane and ask them these questions too.  Tears were brought to my eyes, just listening to the fun times of family moments.  Our family was not perfect and we survived!

Our message this past Sunday I put together this outline and I am having Bryson, Jordan and Spencer up on the platform with me to go over some things.  

 

Here are my notes on “We Are Family” message.

There are many kinds of families.

2 parents,

Single parents

Absent parent

Grandparent raising grandchildren – great-grandchildren

Families are much more than  of people who share the same genes or the same address.

Family should be a source of love and support. Blood is thicker than water….

Every family is different. But many families face similar issues. No family is perfect and if you spent a day with another family, you might not see their flaws. But live with them for a month and surely you would. Everyone does not get along all the time. Conflicts are a part of family life.

While the specifics of the problems you go through will be unique to your family, it can be reassuring to know that you’re not alone.

Myths about Family Life

  1. Good families do not have problems.
  2. If you are a good parent your child will not have problems.
  3. Raising children is easy. You should not feel stressed as a parent.
  4. Well-adjusted people balance parenting, work, and personal life with ease.
  5. Therapy is only for really troubled families. 

The truth is, normal, healthy, well-adjusted families often encounter problems. The top 12 problems in families:

  1. Communication Problems
  2. Financial problems
  3. Stress/Exhaustion
  4. Parenting Concerns/Boundaries
  5. Divorce Adjustment/Blended Families
  6. Lack of trust/respect in a relationship
  7. Frequent arguing or Disagreements/Angry outbursts
  8. Physical conflict
  9. Alcohol or drug use
  10. Difference in opinions, personalities, beliefs, values or goals
  11. Issues relating to sexuality
  12. Negative emotions – anger, sadness, anxiety – Feeling isolated, alone or withdrawn

Genesis 1:27 So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.

Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it.

Genesis 4:1-2 Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, saying, “I have gotten a man with the help of the LORD.”

Later she gave birth to his brother Abel.

Genesis 4:8

While they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.

Was God the perfect parent? Did God fail as a Father?

In the beginning after God created man, he soon acknowledged that man should not be alone. So he created a companion to be with Adam. The act of putting Adam and Eve together shows us that relationships are important to God.  So every human since then has been born into a primary social group (family) to connect with.

There is something wonderful about God making sure that we are always connected and not alone. God sees relationship as essential in making us successful creations. Even though our family sometimes annoys and embarrasses us, it might actually be worse if they didn’t exist. The role of the family then is to love and keep a connection with us.

The very first family in all of history = dysfunction

  1. The curse of sin entered into this world that you and I are still paying for.
  2. God kicked them out of the garden to fend for themselves and life became immeasurably harder. They experienced for the first time pain and hardship and they brought two boys into this world who grew up and jealousy arose between them.

The perfect family is a mirage in the desert. This expectation of perfection is that dis-empowers us from investing in our own families and if we compare our family to this false image of the perfect family, we give up…. Divorce happens etc…

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Throughout the years, I may not have always used the Word in the content of love, so what was our Scriptures the boys remember most?

FAMILY SCRIPTURES – Phillips family Scriptures we instilled in our children:

God didn’t give us Spirit of fear, but of power, love and sound mind

Reap what you sow

Sin you will always find you out

Disobedience is same as witchcraft

Greater is he than he that is in the world

Repent and be baptized every one you and you shall get the holy ghost

QUESTION: WHAT SCRIPTURES CAN YOU REMEMBER THE MOST GROWING UP IN YOUR FAMILY LIFE?  Boys will answer.

Train

Train up a child in the way they should go and they shall not depart from it. To choose to be around others that are up to no good, you will get in trouble to. We tried to be the best parents that we could be and protect them the best we knew how.

Accountability

No one is without authority. In Romans 13:1, Paul tells us that we should submit to authority over us.   HONOR….God does not want us to be without direction. When we submit ourselves to family, there is so much we can learn and helpful suggestions we can get. God put many people in our lives to help support our journey in discovering him and ourselves. We all can learn something from everyone in our family.

Blind spot

Our blind spot is an area that we cannot see. As a child, we feel like our family doesn’t quite see us for who we are, but for who they want us to be. They don’t recognize our gifts and talents and acknowledge our ideas, but instead put their experience and wisdom above ours.

In life, the thing we need the most…. is the thing we don’t give enough of. So if we feel like our parents don’t respect us, then we don’t give respect. If we feel as if someone is not trying to understand us, then we don’t try to understand.

——————————

Understanding that conflict is normal is the first step in learning to deal with these situations. It is important for families to learn appropriate ways to deal with problems that will promote growth and cohesion.

Poor Family Communication

  • The conflict in this arrangement is that there are no opportunities to discuss family values, issues and other important topics; this often leads to disagreements. Communication conflicts are also present in families that lack healthy communication skills and engage in yelling, cursing, blaming and insulting.    
  • Parent-Child Power Struggles: A parent-child power struggle can create conflict and stress for the entire family. Having a child who wants to control the parent leads to increased parent frustration and decreased patience when dealing with other family members. The other children often feel that the defiant child is receiving more attention and may start acting out them.

QUESTION: WHO IN OUR FAMILY SEEM TO HAVE MOST POWER STRUGGLE? Boys will answer

  1. Talk– communication is the key and often the first step to finding solutions. Be calm and honest about your concerns when discussing your problems with a loved one. Communication issues are usually at the root of most relationship problems
  2. Accept your differences– it can help avoid unnecessary conflict if you can recognize that people have different ideas, opinions and beliefs and you may not always be in agreement. Agree to disagree. Fighting fair.
  3. Have fun together– even when things are tough, it’s important to find the time to have fun with your loved ones.

QUESTION: WHAT IS ONE WAY YOUR FAMILY HAD FUN TOGETHER? (Vacations/play games/dad involved in sports/ mom let us make home movies/ paint faces /sledding)

4.          Staying Close Knit – It’s all too easy for family members to drift apart. That’s why regular family meals (whether it’s breakfast or dinner or even weekly meals if members are living apart) are so important; ask basic questions at dinnertime (e.g., what went well this week and what we’re looking forward to next week) while you’re all still living together.

Keep up important daily and weekly family traditions, such as weekly game night—even when everyone gets seemingly too busy for everything else. Keep up important daily and weekly family traditions, such as weekly game night—even when everyone gets seemingly too busy for everything else.

QUESTION: WHAT IS ONE THING YOU CAN REMEMBER ABOUT MEAL TIME/SHARE TIME? (Bless the food, restore, prayer time , what happened at school)

5.    Balancing Work and Home Life/ Getting the Family Organized – If life were perfect we’d have enough time to pursue our dreams and also spend as much quality time with our family as we want every day. This being the real world, we all struggle with work-life balance. Remember, it’s quality time that matters most—those micro-moments of connection we share every day, rather than quantity (although quantity matters too!). It’s hard enough getting yourself organized. Through a partner and possibly kids into the mix and chaos can quickly ensue.

QUESTION: WHAT IS ONE THING YOU CAN REMEMBER? (Laid clothes out/ironing clothes….lunch money, etc)

6.          Agreeing on Parenting Decisions/Boundaries – The biggest parenting decision is whether or not to have kids in the first place. After that, you and your partner might disagree on things like discipline, saving for college, teaching them religion, and even lying about Santa. This is another one of those “choose your battles” topics—fight for what actually matters most (which daycare or school to send your kids to) and let go of or compromise on the rest (whose turn it is to give the baby a bath).

QUESTION: WHO WAS EASIER TO TALK TO? (Boundaries)

7.          Handling Arguments – There are good fights, the kind that clear the air, and then there are bad fights, the kind that expose and further widen the cracks in our relationships’ foundations. Sometimes it’s all a matter of how we argue, not what we’re arguing about. Use a more rational (rather than emotionally charged) approach when you argue and offer the solution first to help keep the peace in your family. Fighting in front of your kids isn’t a bad thing, either.

QUESTION: HOW DID YOU HANDLE ARGUMENTS? BETWEEN PARENT/CHILD/SIBLINGS

8.          Divvying Up Chores – Speaking of chores, just about no one enjoys doing them, but unless everyone pitches in family members can start to feel resentful. Chores also teach kids important lessons.

QUESTION: WHAT WAS YOUR CHORES? HOW DID YOUR PARENTS GET YOU TO DO YOUR CHORES?

So every human is born into a (family) to connect with.

God makes sure that we are always connected and not alone.

God sees relationships as essential part of making us successful and find abundant living as well as leave a legacy! .

The role of the family then is to love and keep a connection to pass on to future generations. Agree? WE ARE FAMILY!

What are they going to do better?

Better with own children: Resolving conflict resolution – without disconnect

Thru the busiest, try not to have seasons being disconnected.  Connection is important!

Below is our recorded messages.

CLICK HERE – FACEBOOK LIVE 

Abundant life, Emotional, Encouragement, faith, God Speaks, Leadership, Parenthood, Patience, prayer

The Gift Within

I Timothy 4:14

Neglect not the gift that is in thee…..

Everyday I see people come in and out of my life.  My contacts may be from the Church we pastor or the Juice Bar that I own and operate.  What I do know in the many people who I see or talk to, is that they are people and people desire relationship with someone who is going to give them hope.  They also desire someone they can do life with, to share experiences and dreams with.  They want people to inspire them, encourage and pray for them.

Just this past week, I had a customer come thru the doors with tears streaming down her face, crying.  I gave her a glass of “happy berry juice” and also a smoothie as she waited patiently for me to finish.  Then upon leaving, I hugged her and prayed for her.  She gripped me tightly as she explained her grandmother was on her death-bed and that she knew it was a matter of time. This saddened me also.  Her hug was so deep and tight, she needed comfort, like a child with a mother.  This touched my heart deeply.  The ironic thing, this is not a one time experience for me.  It has happened several times.  Ministry…..

I experienced life of stress and parenting in my twenty’s and thirty’s.  In my forty’s I felt like I was searching for significance and career as well as my identity since I was no longer raising children in the home.  It has taken me over 54 years to discover this.  What I have inside me is a gift.  A gift to give to others.  There is no one like me and there is no one like you.  We all are created unique and we all have gifts to give to others.  I do not expect others to be like me nor act or think like me.  Sometimes I think I am a little hyper in my mind.

Although I involve myself in many outlets, I enjoy what I do.  I enjoy serving others.  How about you?  What is your gift?  What is your purpose?  How can I help you?

This is my link if you want to discover your hidden possibilities in what God has called you.  Let’s discuss!

Continue to use your gifts and let your light shine!  Someone out there needs you!

In His Service

Melissa

Abundant life, Emotional, Encouragement, faith, Fear, marriage enrichment, prayer

There Is No Condemnation

Romans 8

There is no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh but after the spirit.  For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death.  …. For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit…. to the spiritually minded is life and peace.

This morning, I was thinking of a coaching session I had yesterday.  The barrier with my client wasn’t that she didn’t believe God wanted to do it for her or couldn’t do it for her, but that the enemy put up a wall to prevent her from reaching her goal she was trying to receive.  She reacted out of fear that God either didn’t want her to have her goal reached because she may have more responsibility after attaining the goal or too much freedom and act foolishly.

After digging deeper into the issue, I explained that our heavenly father WANTS her to have the freedom she is trying to attain.  He is not keeping it from her.  The issue was that the enemy had told her a lie.  A lie that was embedded out of condemnation and a works mentality.  We cast out the lie, her mind is renewed but the thinking will have to be re-directed for a time so her habits will change.  She no longer needs to be fearful of changing for the better.  God wants her better!

Condemnation gives you no hope.  Conviction from the Holy Spirit gives you hope.  She had no hope of reaching her goal because of the lie.

If you are struggling with something today, ask yourself the question “Am I hopeful or do I feel as though I cannot reach a state of peace about a subject.”  If it is the latter, then cast out the lie and re-direct your thinking.

Continue to walk in peace of His perfect love because it will cast down the fear.  Boost your faith by believing God not only wants you to have peace in every situation but He wants you blessed.  I want you to be blessed and find hope to live abundantly!

In His Presence be blessed!

Melissa

Abundant life, Educational and Informative, Emotional, Encouragement, faith, God Speaks, Leadership, Love and Life of a Testimony, Parenthood, prayer, Salvation

My Purpose

Many people may never find their purpose in life.  I want to help others find a healthy lifestyle in all areas of their life.  I want others to find abundant living.  I don’t want to coast or have chaos in my life especially as I reach a place in my life where I need to be enjoying being a grandparent.  How about you?  Do you know your purpose?  Let me help you.

https://www.facebook.com/livinguncorked/       Website to check out more!

https://www.facebook.com/younglivingky/     Website to check out more essential oils!

https://www.facebook.com/kangenowensboro/ Website to check out the healthy water!

If you are trying to find your passion, leave me a comment and I can get back with you in 24 hours!

 

Abundant life, Educational and Informative, Emotional, Encouragement, faith, Fear, God Speaks, Leadership, Love and Life of a Testimony, Salvation, Soul Winning, Supernatural, Weird Stuff

Are We Facing Apocalypse – Survive The End Days

Amazing download to survive for you and your familyWhat has prompted me to write this? Several things, so keep reading.

WATCH THIS

Do you believe in survivalist in what they do when it comes to end time prophecy? Do you believe the end is near? Of course we have signs of the times and many predictions have come and gone, nevertheless it seems more and more signs are appearing. October 2015 seems to be again the predictions of what to watch for…the Blood Moon for one which just recently took place.  Upon this review, although we know not when the Lord Jesus shall return only God does, this review upon the end days state January 2017 is a time in history where we will never forget.

end-of-the-world is coming predictions Jan 2017.... do you believe it? My mother has a friend who is always constantly watching preaching on end times.  She is an older lady who has been a Christian many years and has retired from her job.  She doesn’t leave her home much only to go to buy more and more food and supplies to survive to get ready for the years of heartache for she calls herself the “watchman”.  She believes we should be storing up food, water and supplies because of the great tribulation coming.  Although she doesn’t believe Christians will go through the tribulation because Jesus will rapture us out, she believes however we will go through hard times for a bit beforehand.  She has told mom several times that a great earthquake or natural disaster will happen leaving us as Americans to turn to God again for help as a nation.  She talks about the economy as well as the market crashing and how money will be obsolete.  She believes she is helping by telling people to get ready for survival during this time.  She truly believes we are on the edge of the end and can’t understand why preachers are not preaching this message.

What are the signs of the end times? My husband and I have been in ministry for over 30 years. We have seen over the years how the Dooms Day Message has effected people in general.  Remember Y2K?  Although we should live our lives prepared however we are not in promoting fear or entertaining people with the thought of provoking people to turn their lives over to God so they can escape the wrath of God.  My prayers that everyone would be saved and that during this dispensation of grace, that people would turn to God in love for a relationship between God and human creation.  I want people to fall in love with a loving God, knowing that He sent His Son Jesus Christ to die for our sins but alive again in resurrection so all could believe in Him, receive Him, live for Him and promote abundant living in Him.  He is our one and only hope of glory in salvation.

I believe that God will always protect his people.  He loves us.  His judgment will be upon the unbelievers and those who turn away from him. As a born again believer, filled with His Spirit I know I am saved and I will be protected.  As of the days of Noah, he took Noah and his family out before one rain drop fell, and as in the days of Lot, God pulled Lot out before one fire hailstone fell on Sodom and Gomorrah.

I will not promote fear but I will at least post this information for those who wish to read it.  I received an email the other day about this particular topic and its thought-provoking so I thought I would share.

__________________________________________________________

SHARE THIS

Y

You can get the “Survive the End Days” special program Here.  Check out some of the things it states will help with.

And this program will allow you to keep calm, collected when the rest of the world panics…

When the rest of your neighbors are forced to barbecue all the meat they have in their fridges…you’ll know the secrets to store it so your family won’t starve next week.

And of course, your family’s going to have all the drinkable water you want…

When others will die of dehydration or drinking dirty water… you’ll have enough water to cook, drink and shower.

Plus, you’ll discover simple techniques to keep you and your family protected against looters, criminals, and even the foreign invaders.

Then click the “GET ACCESS NOW” button and get this program now….

Will living come down to this in the End of Days? CLICK HERE Get ACCESS FOR THIS BOOK  which will tell you:

  • 5 myths about a nuclear attack most people believe and how following common knowledge can get you killed
  • How to react in the first hours of a nuclear attack in order to minimize exposure to radiation. You will also learn how to cope with radiation sickness and help those around you how are suffering from it.
  • How to find clean water and recognize edible foods so you and your family will be well fed and safe during such an attack
  • How to turn your home into an atomic shelter using common and cheap items so you won’t have to leave the safety of your house and expose yourself to radiation
  • Psychological preparation so you and your loved ones can keep a clear mind and focus on surviving and thriving the apocalypse
  • The different types of chemical weapons and how to identify them: In the first moments of a chemical attack it is vital to identify what just hit you and how to minimize the effects on your body
  • How to create a survival plan for you and your family based on cutting edge military science. This will ensure everybody knows what to do and how to do it fast is this terrible scenario unfolds
  • How to create survival gear for chemical attacks using household items. This information is vital if you lack the right equipment and there is no time to get it.
  • You’ll discover how to prevent your food and medicine from spoiling even if you have to give up the luxury of using a refrigerator.
  • There are 7 MUST-HAVE medicine supplies that can get you through any disaster and I will show you how much to store and where.
  • Most importantly I’ll show you how to keep your family hidden and safe when the EMP strikes so that hungry and violent looters and invaders won’t even notice your presence.

_____________________________________________________

So let me know your thoughts and what you think in the comments below.  What is your opinion about the End of Days?  Fearful, hopeful?  Leave me a comment!

Abundant life, Emotional, Encouragement, Leadership, Love and Life of a Testimony, Made you smile, Salvation, Soul Winning, Weird Stuff

Contagious Smiling

Smiling is contagiousLast week I got to experience the film Compelled By Love starring Roland and Heidi Baker’s story.  I was proud to say that my son, Lyle was featured in the film.  The emotions I felt, the awe of being totally sold out to Jesus is truly phenomenal.  At the beginning of the film is an artist who starts painting a picture and you will see this throughout the film the stages of the piece, then at the end you see the final work.  The final picture is of Jesus with a contagious smile!  It makes you feel as though Jesus is happy, that He loves you and He wants you to smile.  Not only for His sake does He want you to smile but for your sake and the sake of others.  It’s contagious! Annalise Roth Phillips my granddaughter loves to smile!  Her smiling makes me smile.

Annalise our granddaughter is only 4 months old.  There is such a love connection when she totally trusts you to take care of her.  She looks at you with those blue eyes and as you talk to her and smile, she crinkles up her nose and smiles so big with her gums showing.  She smiles with her eyes.  It makes anyone talking to her want to get her to smile.  It is a smile that is rewarding even if it only last for just a few seconds.  I am looking forward to hearing her laugh and giggle throughout the house.  A smile, the emotion of trust and total happiness.

As a leader/pastor I love smiling.  I love smiling at people as I pass by, taking time to look into their eyes as if it is Jesus smiling back at me.  What a difference we can make if we just stop for the one regardless of how we feel at the time and smile.  Sometimes its hard for me especially because I am so caught up in the task or in my own thoughts of what I must get done I forget to look at the person in my busy schedule, however it is never my intention to ignore and I am learning to slow down and take time to the most valuable source on the planet… people!

This experience has made me realize how important smiling is.  It is important for at least five reasons according to Michael Hyatt.

  1. It helps others relax. When you scowl or look too intense, it creates a primal reaction in others. Their defenses go up. They become protective and guarded.

    This is the exact opposite of what you want to happen if you are trying to influence them. A smile communicates that you are safe and can be trusted.

  2. It draws people to you. Have you ever noticed how you are attracted to people who smile and laugh a lot? The positive energy is contagious. You instinctively smile in response.

    The simple fact is that people naturally want to be around people who are happy. If you want others to follow you, you can start by smiling more.

  3. It enables you to connect. Smiling is one of the best, quickest ways to connect with anyone from any culture. Even if you don’t speak the same language, a smile is universally appreciated.

    It opens the door, welcomes people into your world, and communicates acceptance. Even if people are frustrated or angry, a smile can often turn them around. In that moment you forge a connection.

  4. It creates positive culture. If you want to change the culture of an organization, change the behavior of its leaders. People naturally play “follow the leader.” When leaders smile, everyone smiles.

    Smiles communicate that your organization is a happy place to work. And who doesn’t want to work where people are smiling and happy?

  5. Why is smiling important for you to do?  Find out here! It elevates your mood. This is one of the surprising benefits of smiling. I had no idea. It literally affects you at a biological level, releasing endorphins and serotonin.

    Smiling has numerous physical and psychological benefits, including relieving stress, lowering your blood pressure, and boosting your immune system. And it’s much cheaper and healthier than drugs.

Seriously, set a goal to smile more this year. Recruit an accountability partner. Set reminders. Whatever it takes. As a leader, it will help ensure you have a positive impact on the people you are leading.  Relieve stress from your daily life right now… smile!

John 10:10…. Jesus said, “My purpose is to give life in all its fullness”.

Jesus is smiling always…. so why can’t we?…be contagious!

Abundant life, Emotional, Encouragement, faith, Fear, forgiveness, Leadership, Love and Life of a Testimony, marriage enrichment, Patience, Soul Winning, Weird Stuff

PooPoo Pie


Don't eat poop!  It causes stress, heartache and delusions!I had the best advice one time from a gal who may have not known how much wisdom she was spilling out to me.  I was struggling with lots of stress at the time because of the circumstances of transition and it all started with FaceBook.  Now keep in mind, I sometimes wear my feelings on my shoulders and grasp every perception that could be. I feel as though I am friendly to everyone and wouldn’t hurt a flea on purpose, so it just kills me if I think someone doesn’t like me.   My blood pressure was running high at the time and I was just sick of the so-called worry of what others think of us. I was talking about a post on FaceBook that I knew was about us but it didn’t mention our names.  She said to me, “Don’t own it”.  Those words forever changed my life and redirected my focus.

You see the enemy of our soul would love to continue to beat us down each day with negative remarks from gossip and lies.  People who I had loved for years were mouthing about our leadership, the church or whatever was told to them about us and not only did they believe it but some also continued with the remarks to others.  Sad to say, some still carry it with them.

Its time to "not own it" and throw out the poo poo pie!

 

God has a way to make us stronger as we continue to serve and depend on Him.  There was no unlawful or sin involved with us and in our eyes, we were doing the best of our ability to continue to move forward in what God wanted us to do, following after His steps.  As we continued our journey, we were pushed out of our many circles of people we loved dearly in who we had helped over the years.  It was a hard transition and I know that the past always tries to condemn and keep people from focusing on the future in winning lost souls.  With some is easier to point fingers rather than take responsibility sometimes.  I was taking responsibility with the words that was being said instead of ignoring them.

The “don’t own it” is what I call Poo Poo Pie.  You see when someone makes a remark about you or tries to control your thoughts or actions either through manipulation, control or gossip its like they are handing you a poo poo pie. Have you ever thought of it that way?  PooPoo Pie is nasty and although it may look good or not, you have the ability to receive it or not to.  If you take it, you own it.  You can put it on your shelf, on your counter top, in your bedroom next to your night stand or in your fridge.  Heck, in fact you can drive it around in your car, put it in your purse or take it on a date!  PooPoo Pie never runs out and every time you “own” the remarks or the gossip, bring it up in conversation or the hurt you are taking a big bite out of your pie!  You are in control of your emotions, thoughts and actions.  People may even throw the pie at you but you don’t have to own it!

Want a slice of poo pie?  This is not a recipe you want to share!  Don't own it!It’s time to throw out the pie, in fact, throw out the pie in the garbage and never look through the trash to own it again.  Move forward and don’t own it!  Poo Poo Pie causes high blood pressure, it causes stress, it causes you to have strongholds in your mind to distract you from what God is calling you to do.  It is deceiving.  It makes you sick and you share the poo pie with others and it makes them sick.  I say “stop passing the poo pie!”

Want a piece of POO POO PIE?

So here is my word of advice that I so wonderfully learned through the transition that I may pass to you…. “don’t own it” keep focused on what God has called you to do, because it is only HIM that you must deal with and He doesn’t eat poo poo pie, He has a buffet of life and life more abundantly, total goodness, health, peace and joy, most of all love.  I would rather eat from the buffet instead from the poo poo pie.

What do you think?  Had any pie lately?

New International Version
Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.

English Standard Version
But Peter and the apostles answered, “We must obey God rather than men.

English Standard Version
We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ

2 Corinthians 10:4
The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.

 

Abundant life, Emotional, Encouragement, faith, Leadership, prayer

More Than The Eye Can See

More than the eye... see beyond!Faith is trusting what the eye cannot see

Eyes see the prowling lion.  Faith sees Daniel’s angel.

Eyes see storms. Faith sees Jesus with arms outstretched.

Eyes see the impossible.  Faith sees a God that all things are possible.

Eyes see the wheelchair.  Faith sees the walking.

Eyes see cancer.  Faith sees the stripes that heal us.

Eyes see the sin.  Faith sees the saving grace of forgiveness.

Eyes see your faults and your guilt, coupled with shame.  Faith sees your Savior, His blood and His grace.

Look into the mirror today, look into life and don’t see everyday circumstances.  Faith is beyond what your eyes behold!