So many times as I look back when my boys were small, every time they got hurt, I also hurt. I remember watching the Passion of Christ Movie when Mary ran to Jesus as he fell with the cross and she reflected back when he was small and fell. That part of the movie broke me because as a mother we can relate. Our children, even when grown, the hurts and pains they go through still plays an important part in our life. We hurt for our children when they hurt. Although we may not be in position to tell them what to do and they obey, we can be an example and wait till advice is asked for then impart wisdom because we may have been through it. Sometimes when my children are going through a rough time in their life, I want to hold them and rock them to help ease their pain just like I did when I kissed their boo boos. I wish that I could go back in time and change my entire outlook on life, parenting and marriage. I would be more patient with my children, love them more, spend time with one on one with them more without being “too busy”. I would have protected them more of the ugly stuff that others pushed or forced on them. I would have done many different things and although I can’t beat myself up with wishing I was the perfect parent, I can be thankful of the things I did do right. Now, I try to look in a loving way and act in a loving way instead of getting mad and spouting off with “I told you so” remarks or telling them how they should live life. It may be easy for us to say give it all to God, forgive others and get over the pain people caused you but for them it is a process of time.
What happens is I see people who build walls all around them, closing off the very people they love. If we try to control our children too much, (even though we know what is best for them) they lay bricks day after day until a wall is built. This usually happens as teens. The walls shut us out and prevents us from speaking into their lives. Balance, time and effective communication is really hard during those years. As my youngest, Spencer is turning 21 this upcoming year, I reflect back when I was 21 having my first baby. Wow, I thought I knew everything then but my how time plays an important factor of wisdom as experiences come. Spencer just had his first wreck last night. He now faces pulling out some of his money out of savings to pay for the damages. Yes, its life and life bring blessings as well as frustrations.
This week starts yet another chapter in my life. My sons struggle with who they want to become, jobs and wanting relationships that matter. They struggle with pleasing their dad and wanting their life to be a reflection of what we stand for. It is life we endure, a process that sometimes brings hurts and pains that don’t easily go through, however as parents, we can love our children through it all. It is time I show and do what I wish I had done when they were toddlers. Continue to show unconditional love, lead and guide them, hug them and help them through the pain as they allow me to as their mother.