I recently got an iphone from my son who went and bought the new 4g so I got his old one. I am very traditional when it comes to phones and I really enjoyed my little shine slider but however I knew it was time for an update. One of the apps he had on the phone was called Angry Birds. I always thought it was silly or for kids to put such games on your phone because phones are for communicating right? Being old or set in my ways I refused to even open the app. Recently while waiting for an apt I was bored and decided to give it a try. Although not very good, I can see where games can get quite addicting. I loved the title “Angry” which made me think how I have used the term in the past and how I have counseled couples who deal with anger.
HOW TO DEAL WITH ANGER:
When you are angry, the first positive step is to admit to yourself that you are angry. Say it aloud, “I’m feeling angry.” We must realize anger is a choice in which I often reminded my children as they were growing up. You choose to be angry over the situation not because someone ‘made’ you angry but because your feelings got stepped on and you are hurting or feeling rejected. Therefore a bundle of emotions wants to be released so we lash out in anger, trying to hurt the other person because we hurt instead of communicating our real feelings.
The second step is to ask God to help you handle your anger in a positive way. “Lord, help me to do what is right and good with my anger. I understand if I choose to be angry I can also choose to love and forgive and act in a way that I want to be treated.” If we do not communicate our real feelings, then resentment builds and we become bitter as our love for that person grows cold. Dealing with anger this way becomes a time bomb.
The third step is to ask, “Did someone sin against me?” If so, the biblical answer is to lovingly confront the person and seek reconciliation. This is an important step because most of the time people might do things that upset us without even knowing it. On the other hand if you are angry simply because something happened that irritates you, then ask, “What can I learn from this experience?”
If the other person habitually arrives late for your appointment, perhaps you can talk with them and negotiate change, thus the anger has served a positive purpose. Many times the things that irritate you are the things you do to other people and you are blind to it. So the next time you get angry about something, check yourself and choose not to respond in a negative way and think if you yourself as this very issue in which you need to work on correcting.
God wants to teach you how to handle your anger in a godly way. You can respond like this, “I’m feeling angry right now, but don’t worry, I’m not going to attack you. But I do need your help. Is this a good time to talk?”
It brings a little humor into the tenseness and reminds you of what you are not going to do. It is also asking the other person to help you process your anger. It’s an easy way to help family members learn to process anger in a positive way.
Prayer: Lord help me to control myself when I feel hurt or rejected. Help me to realize that the other person may feel the same way but reacting in a negative way instead of your way. Help our marriage and family relationships communicate effectively your way. In Jesus Name. Amen