I was thinking this morning as I lay there wide away wishing to sleep in. Is it just me that it seems like time is speeding up? I go to bed every night and think about what I may or may not have accomplished throughout the day or how I can’t believe it is time for bed at night again. Is it just me or does it seem like relationships in marriage is getting harder and harder as the strains of living in this world play an impact on all of us? Is knowledge better or does it curse us to be more involved or intertwined with the world? “The difference between school and life? In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.” I still want to learn to help others get through this life, not for me to accomplish something or make myself feel better. Is it just me or do you forget to kiss your spouse or say I love you daily? Is it just me or do you forget to call your mother and father, brother or sister just to say hi? Is it just me or do we find ourselves getting so aggitated over little stuff that don’t mean a hill of beans but we make it a mountain? Is it just me or do you seem to be emotional when you think of world hunger, child abuse, natural tragedies or drug addictions? I find myself caring more, maybe the love of Jesus is swelling deeply trying to burst forth in this chaotic world. It is a sign yes that I am getting older. Is it just me that I beat myself up and want so badly a healing for myself yet tell and pray for others it is theirs for the asking? I find it hard sometimes to pray for others when I myself find it hard to put up with my own painful elbow that has been hurting me these last six weeks. “No computer, no typing and don’t use your right arm” the doctor tells me, yea right is what I say and smile. We know to do the right things yet we do what we want and expect a different result. Isn’t that life? Do you find yourself wanting more of God and make promises I will read today, study today, pray longer today and get into His presence yet before you know it, it is Sunday and a week as flown by. Sunday’s make you smile once you are in His presence yet on this particular day, the kids are screaming, husband is grouchy, you can’t find the right outfit, you spill the milk or coffee, there is always a meeting before church and then there is the decision about lunch. Is it just me that I sit here thinking about all this stuff? It is life. Life is not always fair and it is just a vapor compared to eternity. Eternity is something we rarely think about because of how we live in this fast pace life. Life is what you make it to be. Everyone has battles, everyone has a story, everyone has scars and some not so pleasant. “Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see life with a clearer view again.” We must learn to handle life, not to control it but to endure it. Endure the pain and allow it to diminish throughout the years as it gets further away. “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” I take one day at a time, think upon those things in which are true and right. I do not want to lose my focus or be to hard on myself to cause inner turmoil. I choose to be happy, choose to love and choose to be used by Jesus. I choose to continue to learn more about others, learn to help and know who I am in Christ Jesus.
Today I wrote a prayer/poem in my journal and wanted to share:
I have returned to you O Lord, lover of our souls, I fall down before you with honor and thanksgiving, I rejoice and dance with praise to the One most high! I rest in the arms of my Savior and King! Oh how my soul longs for you to embrace your thoughts your ways, to hear your voice! I know you have forgiven me for all sin that was within me and you have given me a new heart, a mind that is renewed to walk with you and in you. Cleanse me with your spirit, heal with your blood, teach me your Word, fill me with wisdom so that I may walk in righteousness, trusting your every divine guidance and steps. Self sacrifice, give all in your name is my heart’s desire. Dance with me now daddy as I honor you now Lord of Lords and King of King! Power is thru you to conqer that which is yours in this world called life.
I rest today and I smile waiting for the next event of life, for it passes too quickly not to be thankful. Is it just me or do you feel the same?