I have been reading much about relationships lately because I have been giving tips daily on my twitter. Recently I came across this little article for men in which I thought I would share. To most, this seems elementary for a woman to agree but for some men they may never think twice about it. The two most things proven that women have trouble with is their weight and being accepted. Since this is true, men should not comment on any of these things to their girlfriend or to their wife. Here is the list:
Wrinkles, gray hair, weight, cellulite, clothes or other attire, their talking/speech, moods, cooking, house cleaning methods, and I could make the list go on.
Now you are wondering why I say all this. Women have a tendency to become one with their environment, so even though a man may complain about a messy house, the woman will not feel accepted or loved because her house in her eyes is part of her. So when a man criticizes the house cleaning the woman takes it to heart and feels rejected. A man will not understand this and think this may seem ridiculous to think such a thing however the complex difference between man and woman is one of God’s mysteries! When you understand how God made man and woman so different, then you will understand that we don’t think like each other. When I read this I understood why I felt irritated when my husband offered to get a housekeeper. I was offended yet happy that he would make a suggestion because at times I get a little behind cleaning all the woodwork and windows. Instead of complaining if the husband would help out and clean, the woman feels as though she is appreciated and loved, in turn be more likely to step up and do things for her husband or even clean more. Sometimes this takes time since the woman may have many insecurities about herself.
What about if the woman has negative traits? Then men must find the positive side. Here is a list of examples. The first will list the “flaw” but the second will be the positive outlook instead of the negative.
Nosy – She may be social or alert. Touchy – She may be very sensitive. Manipulating – She may be resourceful with creative ideas. Stingy – she may be thrifty. Talkative – she may be expressive and dramatic. Overbearing – she mad be confident. Fussy – she may be organized and efficient.
You may consider writing down your own list of “flaws” and then beside it try to come up with the positive. This is something that everyone can do. Then make a sincere comment on how thankful you are in what the positive is. The more you love and feed your wife not only in words but helping out with her environment, the more she will give praise and love back to you.
These are only a few but I know you can find things to praise your wife. Specific praise is better than general praise. Instead of saying, “That was a great dinner”, be specific on how great it was, naming the food or what you particular liked about an item. Start thanking her for cleaning, or doing everyday chores. As her love grows though this process, she will become more confident to do more things and express her love for her man.
Through all this, we can find the positive aspects in the things we may consider flaws. Learn to choose your words. Words come from how you think, words become actions which become habits then bore into character and then on to destiny. You can have an abundant life and marriage by learning about each other and how God has made you. Start practicing today!
Here is a site that might help if you are a man searching for creative helps: http://www.guystuffcounseling.com/counseling-on-demand/
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