Abundant life, Encouragement, marriage enrichment

What Wives Want Their Husbands To Know – Part 4

I believe today’s topic is the most important factor in any marriage or relationship.  It is what draws us closer to our husband more than anything.  Let us recap the first three topics that we discussed earlier.  We want our husband to be smart, have wisdom and be healthy.  As women, we need security and if our husband is lacking in one of those areas we can become distant because we feel as though we have to take care of ourselves and our children or become lazy, unhealthy and make unwise decisions too even though we may not realize the destructive pattern.  We may become fearful of the future because what our husband doesn’t fulfill in our needs (or what our husband should be doing in a relationship) now all is placed on the woman to carry.  This gets extremely hard if her relationship with God is lacking and she depends upon her husband to fulfill her desires.   In other words, the pressure and added stress in our lives causes us not cling to our husbands but to be independent from them when they lack in those areas when it should be to God.  However, we take it out on our husband and family when these needs are not met thus creates distance.

In part three we discussed how we love our husbands to be social.  People are social as we automatically relate to others.  Marriage does not diminish this need to relate to those outside the family.  The wife may wish to be a part of a ladies’ civic club or initiate a neighborhood dinner.  The husband should seek to encourage her involvement.  In so doing he is helping meet her social needs.  In helping  each other develop social relationships, we are enhancing their growth as a person.  If we put down their social interests as being superficial and unimportant, we create tension because we are seeking to thwart one of man’s basic needs:  the need to relate.  In a healthy marriage, social relationships are seen as a normal part of life.

A husband who is committed in this final area will gain much favor not only with his wife but also with others.  It is being the Spiritual leader of the household.  There is nothing that touches the soul of a Christian woman more deeply than when her Christian husband prioritizes the spiritual aspect of his life and for the future of his family.  As a wife, we see our husband inside and out and most of the time really know his inner thoughts by his words and actions.  A woman is attracted to her man who reads and lives the Word of God.  A man should ask these questions to himself:

Are you advancing spiritually or would the Lord tag you spiritually lukewarm?

Is your knowledge of God growing deeper or is your relationship with Jesus growing stronger?

Are you in the position to assume spiritual leadership in your home or do you included the Lord in your decision-making process?

Are you a man of regular prayer or reading your Bible?

Do you faithfully attend church and stress to your family regular worship, or do you miss because of “other things”?

Do you naturally discuss spiritual theme in your home?

Are you a man of integrity, a man who walks the talk?

Most women love praying with their husband and love to discuss spiritual matters.  When we seek to meet each others needs we are building a strong marriage and relationship.  A husband in the diligent pursuit of balancing these areas is an exciting turn-on to his wife.  He must be confident that balancing the physical, mental, spiritual and social areas is a very important matter not only in relationship to his wife but also to himself in general.  If a man does all these four steps it will narrow the gap between any separation issues and draw his love closer in all aspects.

I pray as a wife that you will take time to have your husband read the four most important topics.  It is a great way to unite the bond of husband and wife with strong cords that cannot be broken and create a foundation for a lasting and fulfilling marriage relationship.  As a wife pray that your husband will be blessed in these four areas:  Mental, Physical, Social, and Spiritual and watch your marriage explode to a deeper commitment!

Ephesians 5:31 New International Version (©1984)
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”


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