Do you know about this little bug? We must be careful because at one time or another in our life it tries to make us it’s host. It will continue to feed and infect with its poison until we decide to rid ourselves with the ancient old remedy. This parasite spreads quickly and takes on as many hosts as it can find. It can last for a few hours or a years. It can be hatched from pain.
Life has many twists and turns and working in the counseling business I hear damaging and hurtful stories repeating the same thing over and over. Whether it was during childhood, during marriage or a trusted friend there is something they all have in common. It is hurt and it is unforgiveness. Both these two play an important part in every situation and in every circumstance. Unforgiveness is a parasite and it feeds on the anger and hurt of hits host, finding its most satisfying nourishment in human pain. It thrives on the cycle of replayed scenes recalled anguish and rehashed justification for holding fast to grudges. Essentially, unforgiveness grows plump on desire for revenge. There is an old saying, “We are most like beast when we kill, we are most like men when we judge and we are most like God when we forgive.”
Extending grace is something we must ask ourselves if it is worth it, and the answer is yes. Forgiveness is a choice. It is a decision to hand the scalpel to God and allow Him to remove the tumor of offense from the heart. No one deserves forgiveness but it is something we must give if we want to live a life of peace. Forgiving is not easy especially to those who have hurt or abused us but if we truly want to be free we must.
Who do you think is pushing that rewind button on the movie screen of your mind? It is the enemy who wants to keep us bound to past hurts. If we choose to forgive, God turns our pain into purpose, our hope and our misery into ministry.
If we could only see what this parasite does to us then we might decide to learn to let things go. It infects your mind, your love, your emotions and your decision-making in using wisdom. Smashing this bug is not so easy sometime and it isn’t just a feeling. The meaning of forgiveness is “to let go from one’s power, possession, to let go free, let escape. Unforgiveness is the means by which we securely bind ourselves to that which we hate the most. It is putting the past behind completely and moving forward by forgiving quickly and completely. Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength.
Forgiveness is letting go of your need for revenge, it is cutting the person loose, refusing to let bitterness and hatred rule your life and leaving the past behind by not allowing it to control your actions or emotions.
What is the remedy?We shouldn’t govern our actions with feeling but with the Word of God.
New Living Translation (©2007) Luke 6:37-38
“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven. Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full–pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.” While listening to a successful pastor from Texas, he stated that many times we do not understand verse 38. He says it doesn’t have to do with money giving but judging, condemning and forgiving. He stated that if a person continues to judge, condemn or promote unforgiveness it will be given back to him even the more so plus some.
Here are a few steps in which will help you clean out the house of unforgiveness.
1. Write down the name of the person who hurt you. (rape, verbal abuse, sexual abuse, neglect, betrayal, desertion, rejection, etc)
2. Write down how you feel about that person.
3. Decide to forgive. God has given you power to forgive but it begins with a will to forgive.
4. Take your list to God and confess your forgiveness to Him. Say, “I forgive ________ for __________. At this moment I choose not to hold offense against them but put them in your hands. I pray that you will heal my emotional wounds and help me be able to help someone else with te same comfort you have given me. I cut ________loose. ”
5. As a visual exercise, destroy the list.