Educational and Informative, marriage enrichment

Why Couples Fight Over Money – Part Two

Married couples, take note: Infidelity isn’t limited to just sex. Secrets about money can cheat you or your spouse out of household harmony.

According to research couples who argue about money at least once a week were 30% more likely to divorce than couples who argue about money less often.  In addition, the more consumer debt a couple has, the more often they will fight about both money and non-money related topics.Here, experts warn about how money can make a marriage go very, very wrong. Lying and keeping secrets about cash flow is, in fact, disloyal behavior. In fact, say many, financial infidelity is the new adultery.

Number One Don’t Do :  Price-tag fibs

Lying about purchase prices – though common – can be a major marriage no-no. The main reason people do this is to avoid fighting about it. It’s short-term avoiding the hassle traded for long-term destroying the marriage.

Number Two Don’t Do :  Socking funds away

You may say it’s for a “rainy day,” but maintaining money that your spouse doesn’t know about is – say it together now – sneaky. Hiding things like a bonus you received at work, a savings account, or risky investments may cause your spouse to lose trust in you once it all comes out in the open (and it usually does). This leaves spouse wondering how many other secrets you have.

Number Three Don’t Do:  Hiding purchases

To avoid telling your spouse that you spent a big wad of cash – or more likely maxed out a credit card — on a luxury, or to purchase an item and hide it is an epic fail. That’s because your credit mishaps can damage your credit score, which in turn can affect your future (and your spouse’s!). And don’t think that buying something new and making it look old to fool your spouse isn’t just as bad.

Number Four Don’t Do :  Spending marital funds on addictions

Using your money to support an addiction, be it to drugs, expensive clothes, gambling, shoes or toys — you name it – is harmful to a marriage in more ways than one. Often, people with such addictions will even take cash advances on credit cards or forge a spouse’s signature on a credit application, a surefire recipe for marital and credit score disaster.

Number Five Don’t Do:  Racking up credit card or loan debt

Irresponsible spending is untrustworthy toward your spouse whether the account is joint or single – even if you didn’t open the account behind his or her back. Your indiscretions can wreak havoc on your credit score, which in turn can cause you to be denied for a mortgage or car loan application, and more.

Number Six Don’t Do:  Loaning or giving money to friends or family

Consultants warns against giving sizeable amounts of marital money – more than $50 – to a child, relative, or friend without discussing it beforehand with your spouse.

Number Seven Don’t Do:  Thinking money can be a substitute for love

Money can’t buy love only things and things cannot replace time.  Spending time with your family is better than buying them things or producing an expensive lifestyle.

The Solution:

Although financial infidelities can be damaging to a marriage, there are ways to regain trust. Counselors recommend regular financial meetings. Don’t expect to be able to discuss finances successfully while you’re on the run, when it’s late at night, or while watching TV.   Make a date for discussing finances and take the time to sit down together and discuss your needs, wants and means.

If one spouse is materialistic or likes to spend like there’s no tomorrow, a mutual agreement can help get finances on track – and a credit report will keep everyone honest.

After agreeing to a percentage of the excess that should be devoted to savings, the remainder may be used as discretionary income. Or, specify a dollar amount that either can spend without answering to the other each month. One spouse may choose to spend a little each week while the other makes one bigger purchase each month.

“You may not think of your marriage as a business deal, but a huge part of it.   Marriages — like some businesses — are called partnerships. Just like a business, a marriage takes in income, pays expenses, and is supposed to have a little profit (savings) left over. Couples can avoid financial blowouts with regular sit-downs about money, and putting all their credit score cards on the table face-up for the other spouse to see.  Team work with God = Stewardship.

Christian stewardship is defined as the proper management of one’s resources for the glory of God.  We all have special gifts and we must take the value of the talent that God haven us, nourish it make it grow and share it.  We do this through managing our resources as they were a one of a kind treasure on loan from God, which are his.  It is how we honor God.

Money is a spiritual issue. It is very essential and connection to how we live our lives. Are we investing our money on things that are pleasing to God or we wasting money on things that are displeasing to Him?  Jesus warned His followers that they could not serve both God and money and we know the love of money is the root of all evil.  (Mathew 6:24, I Tim 6:10.)  However we also read in Jeremiah 32:7  There is nothing too hard for God. Or All things are possible even money crisis.

Prayer:  Lord I thank you for helping me realize that everything is yours.  Help us to understand to never try to hide anything from our spouse or from you.  Let our marriages grow in love and in honor toward all things.  In Jesus Name.  Amen.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. John 10:10

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