Have you ever had anyone to tell you, “Just chill out!”? Many times those words come when we are frustrated or irritated with not only how we are feeling but how we are reacting to the circumstances that are around us. We are reacting to the opposition or things in which we have no control over, therefore are voice gets louder, we slam doors or throw a fit to get our needs met or noticed. We want people especially the ones we love to take notice of how we may be feeling. I have been there more than once. I tend to clam up and give the silent treatment versus the other. Either way, this is not a form of good communication. When we find ourselves the need to just “chill out” before we get to that point is we must realize we can make some unwise decisions when we reach the point of losing control and acting out. Many times it is selfish ruling over our bodies and minds instead of allowing love to take place. I have seen it too many times where people who need a break so to speak turn to just having a drink or other forms of selfishness because they need to “chill out” because of the stress they are in.
How do you know that you are reaching the point of the need of chilling out? Many times I can recognize being unbalanced or trying to keep the pace up with errands of wife/mother responsibilities being unmet. I ask myself, “Am I giving myself enough time to focus on God and allowing Him to reign in my life or Does family suffer because I am meeting my needs, wants, before my responsibilities. Am I neglecting either my walk with God or my responsibilities or duties because of my level intensity of my personal schedule?” If I find myself stressed, then I have too much on my plate because of my personal choices. It is no ones fault except ourselves because we control our thoughts and feelings. We can control how much God we want activated in our life. When we find ourselves demanding to be happy over anything, then we are promoting idolatry. Being happy is a byproduct of living for God not an action demanded by people to please you or for you to get your way. We can suggest, teach and train others to promote giving and loving one another however it is up to us to live it out regardless in how we are being treated.
Questions we must ask ourselves: Is it important to everyone or just myself, is it saying yes to others instead of saying no to things on your plate, or sacrificing important things instead of what is truly important, what is in your heart, focus on little things or big things of life. Little things in life such as playing a game with your child instead of your schedule is actually a big thing. We seem to get big things and little things mixed up, as a mom and as a wife. What we mistake little things in life that seem so important to others is actually a big thing in their minds and can play out a big factor in the future.
For instance, I remember I stayed home all day with four boys while my husband worked. I played with the boys and kept house and at the last-minute before Jeff got home cleaned and got everything straightened up and cooked a meal for the family. I was exhausted and really didn’t want anything but to leave and get away from my responsibilities for a couple of hours, just needing a break. He had no clue what I did every single day. It was life. Fun but stressful, joy but sadness and all the in-between. All the time trying to pursue my own time to pray, read and have bible studies with other women and be involved with the church. I needed to chill out at times for sure. I needed balance and strength to endure the season.
Imagine your loved one on the day they may be gone. Imagine yourself standing in front of their casket. Are you pleased with how you responded to them throughout their lifetime? Are you happy you got your way instead of giving in to spend time with them or fussing over little unimportant issues cause you was having a bad day? Was ignoring or pushing away your husband or your child worth wishing you could change the fact of living a life now without them? This is something to think about especially when I find myself needing to “chill out”.
God gives us the ability to “chill out” if we choose too. He has given us the strength to survive anything because He is the one in control of our life and we are the one who controls our own thoughts. We control our thoughts by putting His Word into our mind. It is hard to chill out if His Word doesn’t exist nor does His Spirit. So the next time we think we deserve to “be happy”, we need to chill out and find direction in where we may be going or whose happiness is most important.
Prayer: Lord, I know the things in which I need to change in my life. I want to be pleasing to you versus, changing to fit my schedule. I want to keep my priorities straight and I know if I lean upon you it will keep me from getting the need to chill out. Thank you Lord. In Jesus Name. Amen
Colossians 2:6-7 New Living Translation (©2007)
And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow him. Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.