Yesterday I was a real grouch. It was like negative energy was trying to force its way into my brain and my life. I know at times my attitude and wanting what I want can really kick in and the sorry thing about it is that I know that I am being difficult. For instance, we decided to go to this conference in Louisiana which was a nine-hour trip. My husband suggested that we take his mother. OK with me, however he decided to take her car and not our Land Rover truck. Both has the same amount of space but I don’t necessarily like riding in the back unless I can sit in the middle and look out. She has no middle seat in her car and it doesn’t ride as smooth (at times I felt like I was on a roller coaster). This was the first of many irritations. The second was that I forgot my iPod, therefore I was forced to listen to nothing except them talk and I was again out of my daily routine. We drove most of the way and spent the night in Mississippi. Cracker Barrel for breakfast was on the agenda but I didn’t have time to research what I could eat there. You see, I have been on this calorie count for a week and limit myself to 300 calories a meal. One biscuit was over 150 calories! I got frustrated too when I requested the non-smoking section and then they seat you by the smoking section! Ahhh! I don’t have a problem with people who want to smoke but you know I cannot stand to be in the same room with cigarette smoke. Both my parents smoked the entire time I lived with them. The smoke in the car with the windows rolled up and the smell on my clothes made me hate cigarets. Now since I can see how it has affected my father struggling with emphysema and gasping to breathe daily, smoking is notorious to me. Yes, I was being a really big B if you know what I mean. Being frustrated with the ride, the vehicle, not getting to eat what I want and then placing me in the smoking section I had all I could take. I got up and left the restaurant, leaving my mother in law and husband sitting at the table ordering their own breakfast. Call it PMS, call it negative attitude or call it sin. Yet I was ready to cry cause I couldn’t control the circumstances around me. I felt like my head was going to explode and I knew I was clinching my teeth and jaw. Oh, I might add, I forgot my straight iron for my hair and Jeff had left our banner for our table to top off the day.
I wanted to share this past few days with you because we all have similar days like these. I am being honest which leads me to our next chapters of Romans. We are all human and we are born in this world to sin. I didn’t have to be difficult or have a bad attitude cause if everyone knows me I preach “don’t let your circumstances control you!” However, I chose to let the outside affect my inside. Today is much better although working and taking pictures makes me exhausted during these conferences but I enjoy meeting new people and learning to deal with myself and my many mood swings. As you go throughout today and may find yourself sinking back into the old man and the nature of getting what you want to be thankful for what God has allowed you to experience. God wants us to be thankful no matter what goes on around us.
Romans 7 14 So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. 15I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. 16But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. 17So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.
18And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.d I want to do what is right, but I can’t. 19I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. 20But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.
21I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. 22I love God’s law with all my heart. 23But there is another powere within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. 24Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? 25Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.
Prayer: Today Lord I know you are always with me. Please take care of my hormones today, no hot flashes please and forgive me of my attitude these last few days. In Jesus name. Amen. 🙂