Since I am talking about romance and love all week, I would like to throw in things that can also that can really hinder a love life in a marriage. There are ten things in which you don’t want to do in which I call “red flags”. Red flags are signals that could eventually lead to the failure of a marriage. It takes two people with God’s wisdom to make a successful marriage. It only takes one person to ruin it. If you have seen red flags or if they are present in your life now, work on rooting them out.
1. According to a Newsweek study between 15-20% of couples are living in a sexless marriage where couples only make love less than ten times a year. While sex is not the be all, end all to a marriage it is one of the best ways to maintain intimacy. When sex becomes a distant memory, intimacy takes a hit. Have sex!
2. Life happens, aging, pregnancy, illness, weight gain. We don’t always look as good as we first met our spouse. Fortunately in deepening love the exterior gets less important and the interior is what we focus on. However, your spouse does care what you look like, smell like and dress like. Take extra effort to look nice and keep fit and healthy. Do what is in your power to keep the physical attraction alive. That means the men must smell nice and the ladies must put on those skimpies under her attire for a special surprise!
3. Don’t spend to much with the in-laws is another heart breaker. This includes spilling out private information to your family about your spouse. Draw a line when it comes to priorities. When you got married, your family comes first because you leave mama and daddy and cleave to your spouse in which your loyalty lies with your marriage. Don’t gossip or betray your spouse with insults to the in-laws because they will grow to hate him and you still have to live with their put downs of your spouse.
4. Don’t spend too much time with friends, work or hobbies. If you spend more time away from your spouse for what ever reason, the marriage will suffer. Quality time is a much needed love language to boost intimacy levels. It is ok to have a hobby or a night out with your friends but when it is more than the time you spend with spouse, it can create a love buster. Working too much creates stress and a fight is just waiting to happen.Bottom line, don’t make your spouse feel second fiddle, or feel alienated, rejected or disconnected from you.
5. According to a 2007 Pay Pal survey, 37% of couples fight more about money than household chores or sex and 82% say they have hidden purchases from their spouse. While not telling your husband about a purchase you bought doesn’t spell disaster for your marriage, omitting large purchases or other major money commitment does. There should be no secrets or deceiving when it comes to money. Anger and bitterness and also bad habits can form and compromise the financial security of family’s future. Marriage is a partnership in every sense, including money.
Be sure to read tomorrow the other five!
To sum it all up: Have sex more, smell and look sexy, keep relatives at a distance, spend quality time with each other and don’t have secrets about money spending habits. If you can focus on these top ten and practice keeping it real, then you and your spouse are all your way in having a wonderful intimate marriage. Get ready for Valentines Day!
Prayer: I pray Lord that I may continue to keep my marriage alive in wisdom and through experience. It is all about love and having you in the center of it and I thank you Jesus for showing me what true love is all about. In Jesus Name. Amen.