Teaching your spouse to be romantic is work but it can be done! It takes time and patience and will improve only if it is one of the high goals of love relationship. If you want to create, cultivate and encourage it, then follow the steps to plant the seed of romance.
I hope everyone has taken Kissing Day, Compliment Day and now Romance Day along with the rest of the week’s topics at heart for a more loving relationship to end Valentines Day with a big bang.
I can remember at first my husband wasn’t too romantic and it has taken years and God in his life to get the results I wanted. Many men just don’t know how to be romantic or have actions to imply romance. I have also tried to instill romance in my boys growing up so their wife wouldn’t have to work so hard getting a hopeless romantic man whose actions would make their heart melt. Maybe that is why we women choose romantic comedy over any action film, to fulfill the romance we may long for more of.
I believe most men don’t know how to have romance because if we look at the true nature of man, their instinct is just to have sex. Let’s face it, I speak the truth and all you ladies know this. Not too many men can have a heart of romance without having the goal of sex in mind. Now us ladies on the other hand, love to be romanced even if sex is not involved. Being absurd to the man, he doesn’t quite understand “why”we women think this way or we should be just like one of them in thinking.
Do you realize romance begins in your heart-center and grows outward? It is to some significant degree a reflections of how you feel about yourself. In other words, by romancing yourself first you can create the conditions that you allow you to experience and express romance with another more easily. Your capacity to love and accept yourself is the measure of your capacity to love and accept others, so your ability and willingness to create romance within is the measure of the romance you can help create in a committed loving relationship. Keeping this in mind if your lover, your spouse or friend doesn’t truly have a good self-esteem or have identity problems, more than likely they don’t know how to be romantic.
Here is where you start. If you don’t think your spouse is being romantic, take inventory how they feel about themselves and learn ways to encourage and boost their self-confidence. True romance is not just about flowers and poems but about “feelings” that flow from the heart. Without the heart-felt feeling, flowers and poems are by an attempt to be romantic, not an expression of true romance. Creating more romance means to love, accept and forgive yourself on a deep level. Treat yourself and others with respect and understanding. While doing this you can also extend this to others.
Being romantic is easy if you put thought into it, and I think every couple should find ways to continue to romance each other year after year. Here is a small list of ways to be romantic.
Put a rose on the seat of your love’s car before the go to work. Embrace and dance with or without music. Compose a list of “Why you are the greatest”. While you love is in the shower or bath, put their bath towel in a hot dryer for a few minutes and wrap them in it as they get out. Play hide and seek in the rain. Unplug the tv and put a note on the remote saying, “turn me on instead”. Surprise your lover with a kiss before they can finish a sentence. Spend on solid hours exploring various kissing techniques. Put kisses in places where you know they will find, such as their closet or drawers and attach a note of expectancy for a later date.
All of these things above are things unexpected and takes creativity. It takes work and the more you show romance to your love, the more ideas pop in their minds to do the same for you. You give, you get results. If you haven’t seen results then you are not giving enough. Give, give, give is a motto of love and true self-sacrifice for any relationship. When you pour your heart out to the person you love, he or she will kindly return the favor to please you.
Today is Romance Day, so do something romantic today to lead up to the big Valentines Day. Give a kiss, give a compliment and do something romantic for your love.
Prayer: Lord your love is sufficient in all things. You alone teach us about love and about knowing who we really are. We are made in your image and you are love, therefore help us all to love as you love and express it. In Jesus Name. Amen
Song of Solomon 7:6, 10, 8:3 New International Version (©1984)
How beautiful you are and how pleasing, O love, with your delights! I belong to my lover, and his desire is for me. His left arm is under my head and his right arm embraces me.