Do you want to have a personal or family life of happiness and peace without turmoil and chaos? Are you searching or desiring a relationship that fulfills your every need? Do you hunger to do something worthwhile and affect those around you? A life of peace in relationships demands something. If you find yourself unhappy and a life without peace then searching through it through things or people will not be the answer. Intimacy can come in different forms and at first we find surface intimacy which is a touch, see or feel relationships. People can get temporarily satisfied through physical relationships, sight, touch by dating or marriage but it will not last nor fill the intimacy void in which God has put within our very core. Relationships take work as I said in my blog yesterday. To have a complete satisfying peaceful, joyful, meaningful relationship with someone or with God it takes an open and honest heart that you must give and show. Many people do not want to reveal what really goes on behind their minds in fear of rejection or what people may think or know if they will be forgiven.
We teach our children to be open and honest, to always tell the truth and not to hide anything from us. Even when they do, we show unconditional love and forgive their mistakes, however we still want them to be honest. Then why is it when we reach adulthood we continue to hide things in secret from others we love or from God and expect intimacy with our relationships or with God? We cannot have secrets and expect intimacy. When our children reach teenage years, they raise their voice to be heard, they just want parent to listen how they feel and what they think, but also they are unwilling to listen. We as adults do the same thing to God. We want Him to listen to us but we don’t want to listen to Him or take time to develop a spiritual intimacy relationship with Him.
Everyone is created for relationships and for intimacy and it is our purpose to seek after it if we truly want peace and happiness in our life. It should not be left up to others or blamed on others if you don’t have it but you ultimately control how much and when you want it. My husband is always preaching about honesty and being honest with yourself. We must reflect on the ways we are growing, stunting our own growth or even killing ourselves through self-deception.
When it comes to sins, we can deal with them one of two ways. We can cover them, which means deal with them our way. Or, we can confess and forsake them, which is dealing with them God’s way. People cover sins by rationalizing them, by calling them a habit, by compartmentalized their minds and ignoring that compartment, by excusing them, by blaming someone else for them, or even by procrastinating – “I will deal with them…tomorrow.” Those ways of dealing with sins simply prolong the estrangement. By the way, have you been covering anything?
Our relationship with God determines how we live our life. Listed below are the facts on relationships with God.
- Everyone has a direct relationship with God whether you believe in Him or relate to Him. He is the Creator and He sustains all mankind on this earth. He has a direct relationship with all however people may not know or have a relationship with Him. There is no intimacy with this type of relationship because sin has separated.
- This type is when a person realizes they need Jesus Christ in their life and accept Him as their personal savior. They make a direction to confess and repent. This is when there is potential for intimacy if pursued but many people stop here.
- The next category is a distant relationship. This is when a person has accepted God but do not know Him on a personal level. They feel as though God is in heaven and doesn’t really have interest in their life here on earth. They may or may not be faithful to church attendance, tithe or giving, serving others, little or no prayer life except when needs or wants arise, little impact on people around them and fail to pursue what God has created them to do.
- This is finding out your purpose for what you are created for. Spiritual intimacy reaches deeper than physical intimacy. When we submit to God, we develop a relationship spirit to spirit, not just asking God for things. Being open, honest, free and not hiding anything. Willing to unwrap ourself, nothing holding back. If you don’t trust someone you cannot have an intimate relationship, you can have a physical and surface relationship but not intimate. The heart of a relationship is through trust. If you trust, you will obey and if you obey you will trust. This is the beginning to really know the love of God because if we love Him, we obey Him. This makes it possible to have unconditional love because it goes beyond what you can see, touch and feel. Spiritual intimacy goes beyond that of a physical realm. You cannot have a relationship or intimacy with someone by keeping secrets. We must listen and make time. Peace and contentment comes with a safe intimate relationship. You will be sensitive to people’s needs, hurts and personhood. God uses you to relate to other people and people sometimes gives us credit when in fact it is God working through us to reveal himself to others.
There are three barriers of pure spiritual intimacy:
- Pride (I can handle it or work it out)
- Rebellion (sin in life whether knowing or unknowing, prayers go unanswered)
- Being Busy/Hurry (not taking time to read the Word, meditate, think and ask God, listening to God)
Spiritual intimacy with God goes much deeper than we realize because it reveals Himself and brings us closer. It is the will of God to have an intimate relationship with all His children. Many people have relationship problems. No one is perfect and we all are sinners. We should not be satisfied with things but hunger after things of God.
The problem for “good people” is that most of day-to-day sinning occurs under a shroud of self-deception. This is convenient, since traditional theology said we are not guilty if we do not have adequate knowledge. Self-deception is a clever way to avoid guilt. The trick most people use to commit ordinary sins is to focus on something good in what they are doing and to push out of their mind whatever evil is present. In other words, our inventive minds can find “good reasons” for just about any act that we want to perform. In ordinary living, we usually begin with our wants and then introduce reason and planning only to the extent needed to sort through those wants or to plan how to satisfy them. In the process, our strong desires can push out to the edge or over the edge for most reasons against what we want to do.
We rarely tell ourselves: “This act is petty, selfish and unfair, but I am going to do it.” Rather, we usually keep ourselves from clarity about any questionable act. We may vaguely give ourselves “reasons” that support what we want to do. This process often is exposed when someone explicitly confronts us. We may then think more clearly and may even become embarrassed by our previous lack of good sense. But if no challenge arises, either from our conscience or from other people, the act may soon fade from memory, and we feel no sense of sin. Self-deception takes a certain amount of skill. As we mature, this skill can develop into a fine art. It is not the same as ignorance. To deceive ourselves, we must, so to speak, know in one part of our brain that something is not quite right, while in another part we do not know. In order to do what we want, we keep that first part of our consciousness outside of our focus. At times we push it away. Self-deception dulls the awareness of our inadequacy and it also prevents us from becoming more adequate.
When we try to discover what kind of person we are becoming, we look at our tendencies, our dispositions, our habits, our attitudes and our emotions. We have tendencies to do good, but they likely are not as spontaneous as they should be. We have tendencies to evil, and we may accept them as “just human” or “just who we are.”Another popular form of self-deception is to let good and noble thoughts substitute for concrete action.We think ourselves good because of the virtues we praise, not the virtues we practice. We think ourselves good because of the vices we condemn, not the vices we exert ourselves to overcome.Sometimes people neglect in greater and lesser ways the basic relationships in their lives, and their relation to God. We need to confess our sins to others and to God in order to make clear to ourselves that we have forgotten God. If we find ourselves feeling no need to confess to others our sins, we can be fairly sure that this is due to our lack of compelling love for God and to be truly open and honest to form a spiritual intimacy that is a life of peace and happiness. If a spirited relationship of love for God were burning in our hearts, we would never be content to “just forget the past and do better next time.” Indeed, if we were in a love affair with God, we might be inclined to be open to others especially to those who we love and desire intimacy with. The knowledge that God will forgive us, frees us to be honest and with experience of God’s forgiveness it frees us to live honestly not only with ourselves, to Him but also to others.
Do you pray? Yes. What do you pray, how long do you pray, what about, how long after you finish talking to you listen? Intimacy relationships is a two-way street. Expect God to speak back to you. He created us, revealed himself through Jesus Christ so that we would develop a relationship of spiritual intimacy. He wants us to have intimacy with others but most of all with Him.
Prayer: Lord, I never want to take my relationship with you for granted. Forgive me of my sins and expose my unrighteousness so that you may see my true heart. Teach me to be honest with myself, to others and open myself for you to see the real me. Let not my soul hide anything from you. Bring me into Spiritual Intimacy with you and your love. In Jesus Name. Amen