Relationships are work especially when it comes to dating or marriage. We all dream of a fairy tale life, but we all know that it does not exist and there is always a dragon or a witch in every fairy tale. Over the holidays I always tease my sons about finding a wife and how much I want a daughter in law and how much I want grandchildren before I am fifty years old. However it is also my motto, don’t marry unless you have been dating at least two years and even then when you first begin to live with someone there will be roadblocks you have to bust through and clear away. Bryson told me that he wanted to get married, but he didn’t like playing games in a relationship. Lyle wants to get married but he wants a woman to be sold out to the passion he has for the things of God including saving children and helping widows. Jordan is in limbo right now trying to decide what he wants to do even after a year of school certification in massage therapy. Spencer continues to date McKenzie in which they celebrated their two years in November. We will see how his relationship goes once he applies college this fall and she is in her last year of high school. Although, he has remained the most mature in his and Kenzie’s relationship more so. They have had heated discussions but nothing like a total blow out fight and they seem compatible so there is hope for me to get my wishes there.
I have written out the most important relationship laws for those who wish to establish a happy relationship this year or improve the one you have. As the new year has begun, we all want to turn over a new leaf and want to change for the better and I am all about having a plan or a list. Print this list out and take note, for sometimes things have to hit us in the face before we can believe it. You may not agree with all of these, yet you may also see what you need to change in your relationships. Through it all, relationships take God being the focus and goal for both people. If both is moving toward God, not only will couples become closer together but also move toward a happier peaceful life with fewer dragons in the fairy tale of life.
Here are the 10 Most Important Relationships Laws:
1. THE LAW OF SIMILARITY. Like attracts like. We do not attract people who we want to attract into our life. We attract people who are similar to us, because we resonate with them. There are no accidental encounters. Just after effects of our past thoughts, expectations and actions. (TAKE NOTE: WHO LIKES TO HANG OUT WITH YOU???)
2. THE LAW OF BRICK WALL. Precautions that we take to avoid getting hurt include not letting any emotions get too close to our heart, but this also turns you into a prisoner keeping you safely tucked behind the walls. “Playing it safe” is a sure way to avoid a broken heart, but it is also a sure way of leaving happiness outside your life.
3. THE LAW OF INACTION. Nothing will change in your life until you take a step to make it happen. Any satisfying long-lasting relationship requires patience and sustained effort.
4. THE LAW OF HALFWAY. It takes two people to make a relationship work. You can meet another person halfway, but you can not walk the whole way for them. Your zone of control ends where another person’s feelings and goals begin. If the other person is not moving towards you, your efforts will be wasted.
5. THE LAW OF MIRROR. People that we dislike serve as our mirrors. They are reflections of our own negative qualities. This is why we react so strongly to them. The traits of character that aggravate us most about others are the same ones we deny in ourselves. The best way to change other people’s behavior is to improve your own character. Then there will not be any need to send so many “mirrors” your way.
6. THE LAW OF Beginning and End. The transition from one opposite to another is what creates balance and diversity in life. One opposite cannot exist without the other. Happiness alternates with sadness, laughter with tears, success with failure, gain with loss. Everything has its beginning and end. When you face a dark phase in your life, know that it will not last forever. This is the circle of life. Very often in order to understand something and appreciate it you have to see the other side of the coin as well.
7. THE LAW OF YOUR OWN WORTH. Other people almost always perceive us the way we perceive ourselves. To be loved and appreciated by others we must first accept and appreciate ourselves. If you are trying to make everyone else like you, you risk losing your true self in the process. You should always strive to be your best self, but never to please others by changing who you really are.
8. THE LAW OF HARMONY. We are all looking for harmony in everything: in the outside world and inside our heart. When you achieve inner harmony, you automatically create harmonious relationships with the outside world. Harmony does not mean the absence of challenges or conflicts that can lead to personal growth. It means that your mind, your feelings and your actions are in line with your life purpose and your most important goals.
9. THE LAW OF COMPLETION. Very often we are looking for relationships that can give us more of what we want, be it material stability, knowledge, or love. We are looking for people and goals that will make us feel complete by providing us with something that we lack. By doing this we are giving the control of our happiness and well-being into the hands of others and we lose our independence. A sense of completion should come from within, and should not depend on others.
10. THE LAW OF RESPONSIBILITY. Our reality is just a reflection of you inner thoughts. What does not exist in your consciousness will never happen in reality. Blaming other for your misfortunes is just like trying to stop a truck approaching you at a full speed by cursing the driver. Until YOU jump aside the situation is not going to change. If you want to improve relationships with other people without conflict, manipulation and threats, start by changing your perspective. Making you happy is not anyone else’s responsibility, duty or moral obligation, only your own!
Prayer: Lord, I do want to change all my relationships for the better. Open up my eyes to those things I need to change in myself. Teach me your ways, your desire and let me show your heart with my actions. As I move closer to you I know you will direct me through it all and help me knock down the walls that try to hinder my relationships with others. In Jesus name. Amen