Learning the difference in desires and expectations can make or break relationships. Our desires are our wishes, cravings or needs. To desire something is to feel there will be a measure of satisfaction after the getting of thing. However, expectations means to anticipate something, notion expected standard and outlook. We can all hope for our desires to be met but how can we go so far as to demand it? We all want cooperation and many times we expect our closets loved ones to read our mind. If we ultimately know and realize satisfaction comes when we fulfill the role God created us to play out in this world, then close relationships are no different. Our expectations, judgments and selfishness can derail us from our unique role by expecting our needs or desires to be met.
Desire is a power force and has degrees of strength. Every manifestation of will is preceded by the desire to act. You must desire something before will can take action. In order to desire something, you must believe that you will gain a measure of satisfaction from it. Everything you do throughout the day is precipitated by desire. Did you know avoidance of pain keeps many people stuck in their life that they are presently in? For some reason they feel that making a change would cause some measure of discomfort so they linger in the existing state of affairs even though it causes discomfort as well. When desire is weak it is unlikely that anything will motivate you to activate your will and accomplish what you want. If you have a strong desire you visualize the positive end result of what you desire to happen. Desire pertains to the present where one recognizes a current wish or longing.
Expectation is also a might powerful force also and is rooted in desire. Can one simply just believe something will happen because someone else in which you respect tell you words that feed your desires? Expectation is an attitude associated with the future where one hopes that something will happen. Do you realize that in your closest relationships that their words have an effect on all three levels, the physical, the mental and the spiritual? When you visualize the effect or event as already taken place you will find more and more expectations to be met. Expectation doesn’t occur without first being discussed with others. As we acknowledge what we want, we form expectations on how to fulfill our desires.
We always live up to our own desires but not our expectations, why should we expect others to meet our expectations when they may meet our desires? Our expectations of others or ourselves may not be met. This is why expectations create stress, struggle, fear and disappointment. When you have expectations, you have preconceived ideas of how things should be that you are attached to. Expectation when demanded upon others creates selfish attitude because you think what you desire may or may not happen. Fear, doubt and worry are the last things you want to experience in the process of manifesting desires.
Now let us break this whole thing down. Do you desire an intimate relationship with Jesus? You must have a desire to be close to Him to take actions to obtain the goal or your heart’s desire. Many people have a desire for instance to lose weight, make plans to achieve it but when it comes down to it, they have limited expectations of themselves or seeing themselves drift away as past times before. The same is with all desires you have and even with your relationships. Expectations arrive not only within ourselves but also with others in how we think they should treat us without first communicated with. I have seen people who expect God to do something in their lives because they have been faithful or have the works, giving or support. Their mindset doesn’t work in the faith realm but in the “I deserve or expect God to give this to me for what I have done.” This is the wrong attitude. How many times in our own marriages have we said this to our spouse? We don’t get our desires met many of times because we are unwilling to change our attitudes on expectations.
Proverbs 11:23 The desire of the righteous ends only in good, but the hope of the wicked only in wrath.
I Corinthians 9:19 Although I am free from everyone’s expectations; I have made myself a servant to all of them to win more people.
II Peter 3:14 Therefore, dear friends, since you have these expectations, earnestly seek to be found in His presence, free from blemish or reproach, in peace.
James 1:6-8 When you ask for something, don’t have any doubts. A person who has doubts is like a wave that is blown by the wind and tossed by the sea. A person who has doubts shouldn’t expect to receive anything from the Lord. A person who has doubts is thinking about two different things at the same time and can’t make up his mind about anything.
Psalms 20:4 May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.
Prayer: Lord Jesus I trust in your word and stand in faith with desire and expectations that you are always faithful. Your word is true and never void. I pray that my desires are conformed to your desires in what you want for my life. You have plans for all of us to be like you in all that we do in character and actions. Let me not stray from your expectations. Let my expectations of others and myself be related, expressed and not hidden to cause me pain, fear or doubt. In Jesus Name. Amen