If something happens in which we lose our temper or control of our actions, should we blame others for it? When a person gets upset, it is hard to think clearly. This in turn makes us feel very certain of our own point of view. We want to express without listening to others. We want validation on how we feel and we tend to blame others for it. Should we criticize any one for making us unhappy or unbalanced? Should we place the blame on others for our misfortune or life’s mess? Should we trace our misfortune to someone else’s unreasonable or inappropriate behavior? Have you ever blamed others for your problems, life situations, hardships, character flaws or bad habits on someone else? It’s your fault!
Sometimes people try to find something or someone on whom they can pin the blame for a problem or for the feelings they are having. Blaming someone can feel immensely satisfying but also prideful. However over time using the scapegoat method without dealing with the real issue will result with the problem occurring again because of not getting to the root issue. The root issue is dealing with yourself and the need to blame others.
Webster defines blame as to consider somebody responsible. Blame is connected to the concept of responsibility for action. So if a person is blaming others then they don’t have to be responsible for their actions or behavior. All blaming others can accomplish is to give a person an excuse to fail. No matter how much fault we may find with others, and regardless of how much a person may blame others, it will not change us on the inside. The saying goes, “remember when you point the finger of blame at someone, and there are three fingers pointing back at you.”
Some people rather than accepting blame or responsibility for how life is, they make excuses. People who constantly blame others view themselves as victims. It seems many people play the victim. Remember the story about the lady who got burned with coffee at a drive through. She was awarded a large sum of money because when she removed the top to put sugar and cream in it, it spilled over onto her clothing and burned her. She was careless but with a victim mentality, she blamed the chain for serving her too hot of coffee. We may laugh and think this story was ridiculous but many times we allow ourselves to put the blame on others too. If you are late to an appointment, we blame traffic instead of leaving earlier. We blame our spouse for our unhappiness because they didn’t do something we told them to do. We blame the cigarette company for lung disorders or the alcohol industry for getting addicted to alcohol and being a drunk. The list can go on. With a victim mentality, you will feel others are causing all your problems and surround yourself with anger, resentment and negative thoughts. This in turn makes one very miserable, tired, sad, stress and constantly sick. People who blame others or who harbor negative emotions live under chronic stress. They experience fatigue, back pain, stomach upset, headaches, depression and the list goes on. The victim mentality almost never admits any wrongdoing, they dwell on the past instead of looking to future and may use other people’s irresponsible behavior to justify own. They often compare themselves to others and with saying, “She does that, so I can too, or I am not as bad as so and so”. Judgmental attitudes and jealousy also go along with blaming others for life situations of unhappiness.
You cannot achieve success if you are in battle with yourself. The road to success to overall perfection and improvement to happiness and prosperity is to stop blaming others and take responsibility and control of your thoughts and actions.
If you are having problems or if something is going wrong in your life, instead of blaming others, look within yourself and find out what went wrong. Think clearly about your habits of your mind. We all make wrong decisions, invite wrong people into our lives who influence our actions and form bad habits, which lead to repeated actions. Pretty soon, if you notice people avoiding you, then you must realize they are tired of being blamed for your unhappiness.
What is the use of blaming your family, your spouse, your father, mother, brother or sister, friends, church, school, politics, government, colleagues, your society or community for the problems and unpleasantness in your life? None. What is the use of blaming others for unhappiness, poverty, divorce, money issues, sicknesses, lack of or in need, drugs, racial issues, prostitution, pregnancy and other circumstances in your life? None. It is simply up to you to change your way of thinking, old habits and lifestyle. If you see something that needs to be done, stop blaming others and take responsibility to make a difference in that area. Your life is your responsibility. You have the freedom to choose the best of the options you have in any given circumstances to choose the correct response as well as the right action. You have the power to control your thoughts and your actions and you can mold them in whatever way you want. You have the ability to adjust to circumstances in the way you react to things that may be out of your control.
Prayer: Lord, forgive me for blaming others for my own faults and short comings. Help me be what you want me to be in all that I am so that I may bring you glory and not shame. Take control of my thoughts and actions through Your Spirit that lives within me. Expose my selfishness so that I may walk in responsibility for my own actions and not blame others. In Jesus Name I pray, Amen.
I Peter 1:13 Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. (NIV)
Hosea 10:12 Sow for yourselves righteousness, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the Lord, until he comes and showers righteousness on you.(NIV)
Galatians 6:8 For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. (NASB)
Proverbs 9:12 If you are wise, your wisdom will reward you; if you are a mocker, you alone will suffer. (NIV)