Abundant life, Leadership, Parenthood

Liar, Liar Pants on Fire

liar liar pants on fire!Telling a lie is just plain wrong.  I hate it when someone lies to me and I would rather them just spit in my face instead of lie to my face.  I know that sounds harsh and I have had to deal with this pet peeve of mine on several occasions.  I have had to learn the “why” people lie and deal with the hurt that comes afterwards. After being lied to on a repeatedly basis, I usually don’t want to be around that type of person and it is my way to deal with it.  How do you deal with someone lying to you?  Do you set them on fire, judge, condemn, ignore or show compassion and mercy?  

I remember when my sons were young boys, they seem to know how to lie quiet well in order to shift the blame to the other one.  The innocent somehow became the guilty and they all reaped the consequences which was usually a swat on the behind side.  We always tried to train the boys thought patterns if you are somewhere where something bad is going on, then regardless if you are partaking in that activity, when the group gets caught you are suddenly just as guilty.  When a person lies, it leads to another one in ways of multiplication.  Most of the time when someone refuses to tell the truth, there is guilt behind the action.   They all know my favorite saying, “Your sin will always find you out.”  They hated that and I am sure they got away with things I didn’t know about during their adventures.  They thought it meant that I would always find out their wrong doings however I didn’t mean it that way.  I wanted to enforce that God would ultimately know everything they hid from me, including lies.

I have had several parents ask me how I got my children not to lie.  The first thing I always suggested is to set a good example.  Most of the time parents don’t lie however if you procrastinate it is just the same.  Some parents will say, “Now if you do that again, you are going to get a whooping”.  Yet after the child continues to repeat the action and the parent repeats the threat with no action taken place, it has become a lie.  Children repeat what their parents do, act and say.  If you tell your children your expectations and they do not follow your warning, then it is the parent who must follow up with the actions you said, or it becomes a lie.  A lie is deliberately saying something that is untrue, deceptive or using misinformation.  Parents wonder why their children continue to lie?  Sometimes we need to look in the mirror and think about what we say or do. 

don't lie, it hurts more people than you thinkSometimes children lie because of fear.  When they are old enough to know the consequences of their actions they often lie to cover up.  If this is the reason then we must point back to ourselves to make sure our rules are not to strict, if we are not allowing ourselves to be a safe zone for our children to come and talk to us.  As parents we could have too much high expectations beyond their capabilities.  Sometimes children lie to protect somebody else or it could be because of a wild imagination. Children who are chronic liars have a poor self-image.  Lies come from self-protection so when a child or adult feels pressured they know they must lie or suffer the consequences.  If you find your child with this habit, try these several techniques.  Instead of blaming, keep the topic focused on what happened with open conversation and calm communication.  If you drill a child or person, the more pressure they feel, the more they are apt to lie.  Never reprimand your child for telling the truth, even when they come to you to tattle tale, always show positive reinforcement.  If you don’t want your child to be a liar, don’t label them as a liar.  One thing I learned about the parenting class is labels stick.  What you call your child is what they become.  Call your child a demon, he will become one, call your child ugly, they believe they are ugly, call your child idiot and they become one.  Your children mirror who you are and the mirror your actions and words.

As a child of God, Our heavenly Father wants the best for us.  He allows us freedom of speech and choices of action, which may or may not be pleasing to Him.  However, the things in which we may try and cover up through lies will always be open to Him. We must come to the understanding that a lie will only bring negative consequences in not only hurting ourselves but also others.  Let us continue to walk in truth, in spirit and in holiness, training others to be the example of Jesus Christ.

Prayer:  Heavenly Father, forgive me for not allowing the full truth to reside in me, my actions or my words.  Lead me into all truth, to tell the truth and experience the freedom in truth.  In Jesus name…amen.

John 8:32  And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.  (American Standard Version)

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