I remember when I was little and would cry at the slightest wrong look or raised voice. Also, I would get a really nasty attitude if I got mad or upset when something didn’t go my way. When my mom notice how I was behaving, she would say, “You’re wearing your feelings on your shoulders.” Have you ever been wearing your emotions on your shoulder with claws digging into your arm? Yes, we all can get too emotional sometimes and take things too personal with some of us more than others. What triggers the emotions? Being offended could be one of many reactions, not wanting to face the truth to a fact or facing the decision to change. All of us react in different ways. However we must remember the cause or reason we act the way we do when faced with a situation is a secondary emotion. Anger for instance is a secondary emotion. The first emotion in which we may feel could be hurt, rejected or abused thus causing a reaction of bursting forth emotions to display to everyone around us. (Have you read my blog, Drama Queen?) Sometimes the exploding emotions come from a build up of holding many emotions in without communicating to a loved one exactly how you feel. That is why people can be dynamite over such a little occurrence that seemed ridiculous to get upset over. How do you think road rage or murder occurs? Most of the times the individual has taken in without letting out, then when the dam breaks everyone know it. In many times we regret when the dam breaks because of hurtful actions, words or unintended results.
Why is it when someone is preaching a convicting message, the person sitting in the pew may feel that it is directly pertaining toward them or stomping on their toes? Why is it when you write a story, people thinking you are writing about something happening to them and not about someone else? Why is it when you are in a crowd and whisper something to your friend, others think you are talking about them?
Sometimes a lack of self worth or a feeling of guilt, needing to change, or just wearing feelings on their shoulders produces this feeling. Many times when using a topic, I choose stories in which people can relate to, things in which with experience according to the subject matter. Many of my stories are from my counseling training, personal experiences or from ministers wives or pastors and are never intended to hurt, harm or cause offense. We all share the common thread of people being people trying to live a Christian lifestyle. The ministry in which God has set before me is to help encourage the reader to be a better person not only for himself or herself but to show others the love of Jesus Christ. It is funny to think many people have came up to me and said, “You are writing about me” or “Why did you write about that topic?” We all have common ground in this world and we should know everyone doesn’t escape the many stories in which someone else can relate to. It is called experience and the world doesn’t evolve around one person. The world is a big world but sometimes when we get wrapped up in our own world we take things as offensive or pertaining to a experince. We can always help someone in a better way if we ourselves have been through it. So for all the readers out there in blog land, the story is not about you and never was, has been or will be, however if the shoe fits, you may wear it. The world revolves around helping others deal with situations and I may use a similar story to help readers relate and change for the better. It helps also to read the entire story to see the motive behind the topic. My goal is to show love not reactions to a secondary emotion.
Having emotions is a God given human response and is quite normal until you let yourself get out of control. Being out of control occurs when you respond very quickly and unwisely to how you are feeling. The response should be with more of a logical approach rather than an emotional one. Instead of blurting out your opinion or being outspoken whether with body language, tone of voice or actions try taking a couple of deep breaths and look internal to the real issue that you may be dealing with. Control, pride, jealousy and other fleshly carnal nature will always try to rule. We should keep in mind if we communicate more often in telling others how you feel at the first onset then emotions will not explode to an unpleasant behavior. In other words, if you are exposing your feelings in an unhealthy way or attitude it is time to change shirts and stop wearing your feelings on your shoulders.
Romans 12:18 As much as it is possible, live in peace with everyone.
12:17-21 Since men became enemies to God, they have been very ready to be enemies one to another. And those that embrace religion, must expect to meet with enemies in a world whose smiles seldom agree with Christ’s. Recompense to no man evil for evil. That is a brutish recompence, befitting only animals, which are not conscious of any being above them, or of any existence hereafter. And not only do, but study and take care to do, that which is amiable and creditable, and recommends religion to all with whom you converse. Study the things that make for peace; if it be possible, without offending God and wounding conscience. Avenge not yourselves. This is a hard lesson to corrupt nature, therefore a remedy against it is added. Give place unto wrath. When a man’s passion is up, and the stream is strong, let it pass off; lest it be made to rage the more against us. The line of our duty is clearly marked out, and if our enemies are not melted by persevering kindness, we are not to seek vengeance; they will be consumed by the fiery wrath of that God to whom vengeance belongeth. The last verse suggests what is not easily understood by the world; that in all strife and contention, those that revenge are conquered, and those that forgive are conquerors. Be not overcome of evil. Learn to defeat ill designs against you, either to change them, or to preserve your own peace. He that has this rule over his spirit, is better than the mighty. God’s children may be asked whether it is not more sweet unto them than all earthly good, that God so enables them by his Spirit, thus to feel and act.
The purified minds of Christians are to be stirred up, that they may be active and lively in the work of holiness. Let us walk down this road of life in peace while the more so encouraging one another while pursuing the Kingdom of Heaven.