Abundant life, Encouragement, Leadership, Patience, prayer

Unmet Expectations Equals Frustration

stress kitfrustration

One of the greatest things that bring on frustration is expecting others to do their part, their task, their ministry or their job and they don’t do it.  As a leader or administrator learning to work with people who fail to meet our expectations can zap our energy and our patience.  Frustration can build; strongholds form, anger and bitterness along with a nasty attitude can attach itself to our minds if we let frustrations stay around too long.  If you have found yourself dealing with a person who you or someone else may have put in a leadership position (volunteer or not) and they are not meeting your expectations you must come to the conclusion with three things.

  First, do they understand their role, duties, goals, vision or ministry?  Sometimes people don’t do what you have expected them to do because they are unaware of what you want them to do.  Sometimes we make the mistake of putting others in a position because they look the part, claim they can handle the responsibilities yet may not be gifted in the area we allow them to be in.  Make a list of responsibilities and goals in which needs to be met.  Also be sure to make a statement of importance or requirements this position takes.  I always try to let them know ahead of time, if they cannot fulfill these requirements they may not be ready for that position.   By verbal and written communication they might have a better understanding on what you are expecting.  It needs to be simple as a checklist.  Sometimes we forget the importance of releasing our vision to others.  If they understand how important it is to you and they have a loyal heart to follow then they will get the job or checklist accomplished.   

frustration womanStep two involves the issue where they know all the things they should be doing but never follow through for unknown reasons.  In the process of loving people this is where it gets tough. Sometimes people may look the part, claim to be what you may be looking for but prove over time there is neither fruit nor integrity in character.  Our first reaction is to remove the title in which they claim to be and demand submission to authority, however this is being reactive instead of proactive. If sin is involved in where it may affect others there is no tolerance in making a change or removing from position.  However in most cases, you may need to pull the goal sheet or requirement papers and discuss things in which you can say, “How can we help you get this accomplished?” In this case, it is important that we be patient with the process of what God is trying to do with them.  Praise goes a long way, and sometimes we need to be thankful on the little things that are being done instead of focusing on the things not being done.  It could be they are not called or gifted for that particular position and it takes time for you or for them to realize the fact.  Many people claim to have certain gifts or be able to handle certain responsibilities however just sit around and enjoy their title and looking for the praise of man.  Sometimes we may put people in position because we are so overwhelmed with our own responsibilities and we need help, we are just happy to be somewhat relieved.  But as time goes on, the responsibilities are placed back on our shoulders because of unmet expectations.  They may or may not be called into that position, maybe God is molding them for it, or maybe God is working on their character issues and we must be patient.  Over a period of time if they continue to be slothful in duties, we must remember not to say things or react in a negative way.  To get us loose from the frustration of unmet expectation is to find other people to do the work they are required to do.  You can do this by choosing people in the form of an assistant or just choose other people to do one of their certain tasks.  People have situations in their life we may not be aware of.  They could be dealing with family, marriage, children or job issues that is causing a struggle for them to meet the those duties required. Pray for them or even a counseling session may be order.  I have found recognition with thank you or praise works wonders.  We should all strive to praise people for what they have done and are doing to enhance the vision.  Leading people is becoming an example in word and deed and if people don’t follow that example then they are followers, not leaders.  

  unmet expectaions The third position we must realize is sometimes you have to just let people go if they cannot fulfill those requirements.  If this is the last resort it must be done in a professional manner in a way where it is win-win for both parties.  We should not hurt or kill the spirit in people during this process.  Many times we explain that another person needs the opportunity to work in the particular field or position they may hold.   It is not deceiving; it is micro managing in helping people find their true purpose and where they can be used to be most effective.   It is not forcing them to move out but allowing them to give up their position to let someone else grow or enhance their skills.  It is allowing them to rest if needed because of circumstances in their life or getting ready to be used into another position with fewer requirements thus releases the possibility for future frustrations with unmet expectations.    

I Timothy 6:2  And they that have believing masters, let them not despise them, because they are brethren; but let them serve them the rather, because they that partake of the benefit are believing and beloved. These things teach and exhort.      

Most important pray for those who may reject your leadership and allow God to change you into a more effective manager to know how to lead people into their true calling or purpose.   Giving no place to the enemy means letting go of frustrations.  To rid yourself of frustrations means to trust in God in helping you manage those who He has given you to lead.  Lead to love others with mercy and grace.

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