Have you ever seen the TV program, Flip This House? It is where investors buy a house for little cost, go in and fix it up and then resale it for a profit. Have you ever found yourself wanting to flip your attitude and trying to change. There are two kinds of people in which I have used for an example.
We all have “those people” in our lives whom want others to know the world evolves around them. They brag, those who wish to draw attention to whatever they see fit and make a fool of themselves while doing it. They can put others down in an attempt to be the best or come out the coolest. Have you ever been around someone who views themselves as superior, always knows what’s better for others, never admits their mistakes, are penetrating in their transactions with others or take pleasure in the errors of others?
Have you ever found someone believing in who they are and know they have talents? Can you notice they are open to others with objectives and potential? Do you notice they are a gifted competitor and not afraid to recognize when they are wrong. Have you seen people help others when they make a mistake without condemnatory attitudes?
What is the difference between the two above paragraphs? Confidence vs. arrogance. Confidence and arrogance both involve believing in one’s abilities. However they stem from two different roots.
Being arrogant is being conceited, haughty, superior, condescending and placing oneself above others. The arrogant person will be very conscious of how the world treats him. It is what fuels self-righteousness in the little world in which him or her places themselves in the center. The only way value is formed is by putting people down of those he surrounds himself with. This is a very small world. The arrogant lacks empathy and is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others. The talents of the arrogant serve primarily themselves. The arrogant assumes his views and opinions are the truth. One with arrogance will often neglect to acknowledge the weakness within oneself in light of playing up the strengths. The arrogant suffers from low self-esteem and tend to build themselves up. Reveal an arrogant person and you will see someone who’s most interested in elevating their perceived position, sometimes to the detriment of others. This is about their validation, and an arrogant person will aim to feel good about themselves by reducing the status of others or making them feel less than. An arrogant person will try to trick their way to success rather than achieve success through applying their strengths and working hard. They’ll make it known that their ability is greater than it actually means they’ll be less inclined to own up to or learn from their mistakes. Those people won’t listen to you, me or anyone else. They might appear to listen, but will go right back to their own way of doing things and their old beliefs. Perhaps more importantly, an arrogant person often won’t even listen to themselves or to God that tells them how much easier things could be if only they’d let go of the need to be right. An arrogant person will open their mouth and say what comes to mind without thinking, after all, in their mind it’s a spot on observation, the wittiest of comments or a flawless piece of reasoning. The impact of what’s said isn’t of much concern, what’s important is that they’re heard. An arrogant person can be cocky and difficult to reason with, making conversation difficult and bothersome. Arrogance, sadly, often accompanies a lack of confidence so that the arrogant person still hurts underneath. The next run in you may have with an arrogant person, just remember they are hurting much deeper on the inside and need a much bigger revelation in knowing who Jesus Christ is. Pray for them and find compassion in your own heart for them.
Now let’s flip the difference…
Confidence is a personal trait. It means one has assurance, freedom from doubt and it is belief in oneself including God given talents or abilities. It is being very sure of or positive about something. You know who you are and it doesn’t matter what other think about you in one sense. It is setting out to accomplish the goal or task without fear no matter what the circumstances are around. A person who is confident understands they have certain areas of strength and will use them according to the purpose. This type of person will also understand others maybe stronger and acknowledge it. The confident person wishes to place themselves with the strong to glean from but they also they remain humble to all people regardless of weakness or fervent talents or positions. The confident person is peaceful, calm and quiet next to the aggressive narcissist. A confident person is joyful and pleasant. Others want to be around and involved with a confident person. Confident people are interested in others and demonstrate care and concern. They stay on top of events that shape the world not just those things in which are local. Everyone will want to hang around with people who feel secure and positive. The confident person recognizes their strengths and weaknesses, and allow other people to have strengths and weaknesses. A confident person doesn’t make life a competition but a celebration of who he/she is in God. The confident person does not need praise to maintain self-assurance. A confident person finds the root of their confidence in self acceptance in who God created them to be. A confident person accepts their weaknesses or faults, even though they may not like them. This acceptance enables the confident person to handle faults with grace and without further compacting the areas of weakness with arrogance. You will soon find possessing an attribute like self confidence will get you far in the quest to complete your goals.
In the Book of Proverbs, the Bible says:
Proverbs 14:3 Proud fools talk too much; the words of the wise protect them.
Proverbs 12:23 Wise people don’t make a show of their knowledge, but fools broadcast their folly.
Proverbs 10:17 People who listen when they are corrected will live, but those who will not admit that they are wrong are in danger.
Proverbs 29:23 Arrogance will bring your downfall, but if you are humble, you will be respected.
Proverbs 19:25 Arrogance should be punished, so that people who don’t know any better can learn a lesson. If you are wise, you will learn when you are corrected.
Proverbs 25:27 Too much honey is bad for you, and so is trying to win too much praise.
Proverbs 14:15 A fool will believe anything; smart people watch their step.
According to the difference in which you may find attributes of yourself in the above paragraphs, learn to be confident in God and who He has made you but stay humble in the process. If the old house reveals more hurt underneath and needs change, then it is time to make a change, flip and see the difference.