What is your love language? If you don’t know just take the 30-second test to see which love language you show and need. Only pick one that best describes you.
1. I feel most loved when people express how grateful they are for me and for the simple everyday things I do.
2. I feel most loved when a person gives me undivided attention and spends time alone with me.
3. I feel most loved when a person brings me gifts or other tangible expressions of love.
4. I feel most loved when a person pitches in to help me run errands or household chores.
5. I feel most loved when a person expresses feelings for me through physical contact.
I love to take quizzes and evaluations. They really can peg you down on who you really are. The above quiz can be found online if you want to choose a longer version for assurance. Gary Chapman came up with these five love languages. After years of study, he concluded what you give out the most is usually what you’re desiring on the inside to make you feel more complete and loved. Last January, I gave the test to our Marriage Enrichment Class. They all found some pretty interesting things about themselves and about their spouse. If you know what your spouse’s love language is, then you can pour into it for a more satisfying relationship. For instance, my husband is an Acts of Service. To make him feel loved or to feed his emotional love bank, I do things for him. Now you may think it is funny, but he loves to come home to the smell of cleaning supplies. If the house, the car, the yard is clean, then he feels loved. Although I think it is strange, because it’s not my language I speak. So, you see, I had to learn how to speak his language and he had to learn how to speak mine. If you have two people in a household and one speaks English and the other person speaks French, then communication is limited and so is the relationship. Learning a different language is hard work and it takes practice. However, if you choose to learn your lover’s language and practice it, then you will find a whole new way of communication level that will not only improve your marriage but also reignite it! Once you find out what your spouse’s love language is, practice it daily and give it to him or her. When you do watch out because with an overflowing love bank, they will be willing in return to overflow your love bank. It works! Rarely are couples the same love language because we know opposites attract but if it is, then it should be even easier to practice.
If you chose number one, then your love language is Words of Affirmation. You feel most loved when a person tells you that he or she values you as a person and appreciates you and your special abilities everyday. If you or your spouse chose this one, this is very easy to do. Start talking. It is not the quanity but quality of what you say. Words are very important to this person and can make them feel very loved or unloved.
If you chose number two, then your love language is Quality Time. You feel closest to a person when you receive focused attention. Setting dates to spend time with one another is a must! Walks, talks or driving to town is a simple way to spend time with one another. No television or other distractions. We all live in a busy world and lifestyle, plan time together and watch your inner man bloom.
If you chose number three, your love language is Receiving Gifts. Tangible expressions of love assure you that the other person loves you and also cares enough to show you. This doesn’t mean the gifts have to be expensive. It can even be handmade, a weekly card, note or a flower picked up at the local supermarket. A happy day for this person is when you can take the time to give an expression of love.
If you chose number four, your love language is Acts of Service. You feel most loved when a person takes time to help you with your responsibilities. This could mean doing household chores, paying the bills or planning a family trip. Getting up and doing something as easy as taking out the trash will make this person’s love bank overflow.
If you chose number five, our love language is Physical Touch. You feel most loved when you have physical contact. This doesn’t always mean sexual, however it does mean you enjoy being embraced and feeling another’s touch. A small pat on the backside, a daily hug, holding hands or a quick back rub makes this person melt into happiness.
If you know a person’s love language, whether it is your spouse or not, when you give the other person what their inner core desires they suddenly become your best friend. This is not manipulation or control but giving to the other what they need for a more satisfying life. On the other hand, don’t use this test against them in revenge and do just the opposite or you may find yourself with a Jekyll and Hyde.
When you find these little hidden treasures to practice on a daily basis, put God right smack in the middle of your relationship the honeymoon lasts a lifetime! I promise! Take the test and leave me a comment on what your love language is, I would love to know!